Movie #73 - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Orion Films
1989 - Rated PG - 1 hr 30 min
Director: Stephen Herek
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin

I have to admit that this movie was not as funny as I remember it being when I was 10. Although I did get a lot more of the jokes.... "69, dude!" Anyway...

Bill and Ted are your typical 80's Cali stereotype teens. Big dreams, big confidence, but not so big on the brains. My favorite line sums them up:

BILL: This is a history report, not a babe report.
TED: Bill, these are historic babes.

Don't even get me started on the sloppy time travel that happens in this movie. I find if you start to over think Bill & Ted, the whole thing falls apart on you. I treasure my childhood memories of this movie so much that I just can't do that to myself. So for now, I still love this movie, I still think it's pretty funny (I laughed out loud when they're wearing the armor and Ted says, "Dude! Heavy metal!" and air guitars ensued. Genius.), and it's kinda like opening a time capsule itself. The clothes, George Carlin, the metal phone booth, the lazy crazy teens... this is one of those movies that holds the essence of the 80s. It will always be a personal favorite.

Movie #72 - Big Trouble in Little China

Big Trouble in Little China
Twentieth Century Fox
1986 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 39 min
Director: John Carpenter
Starring: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, James Hong

Alright, so I guess I never really gave this movie a fair chance. It's not that bad, but it definitely isn't my cup of tea. I'll be honest, I think this is a "guy" movie. There's lots of action and weird humor and, of course, Kim Cattrall. The guys love her in this, I hear.

The plotline is a fun one, not too much substance to it though (at least I thought so). The whole mystical thing is creative, but it makes this movie seem like a weird action-adventure/sci-fi hybrid.

Still, James Hong is one crazy mo fo and Kurt Russell is a hot piece of 80's mullet.

Movie #71 - The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski
Gramercy Pictures
1998 - Rated R - 1 hr 57 min
Directors: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tara Reid

Here's a classic film with a solid cult following and a classic plotline that harkens back to Shakespeare. (Which explains the adapted script Two Gentlemen of Lebowski...) Mistaken identities, missing money, weird group of crazies, lovable hero with obvious flaws. And for these reasons, it's really fun to watch.

Something about the supreme loserness of these guys is compelling. They really, really believe they're in control of this situation at some points... well, mostly John Goodman does. Still, it's endearing, not annoying as you'd think. I also have to add that never before has bowling been so epic.

The quirky characters and great performances in this movie sell it. It really is just enjoyable to watch The Dude and company in action.

Movie #70 - Big Fish

Big Fish
Sony Pictures
2003 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 5 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Carter, Marion Cotillard, Steve Buscemi

First Batman, then Beetlejuice, the second shelf turned out to be a veritable resume of Tim Burton's work. By 2003, however, his unique style was a bit more refined and he handles this tall tale like an epic movie. Visually, this movie is gorgeous. The field of daffodils, the giant fish, all of it is well done.

Albert Finney plays that stereotypical dad who always has a story to tell, some of them widely exagerated but usually rooted in truth. To tell us the story, we have Ewan McGregor as the young dad, his life a constant string of adventures from age 18. You could probably read into this movie to find elements from tales like the Odyssey or even Forest Gump, but it is unique enough to distract you from these similar "epics." In this movie, you'll find yourself wondering which parts are true and which are fabricated, but hoping that all of it did really happen.

Finney, still verbose as ever even on his deathbed, can't seem to connect to his adult son. The son, who perceives everything his father says to be a bedtime story, grapples with the impending loss of his father, a man he feels like he never understood. Their relationship is the real focus of this movie, with each tale driving them farther and farther apart.

As with most Burton films, the emotions and issues addressed her are commonplace. The relationships between father and son; the grief of loss; the desire to feel we've made a difference in our lives. But also like other Burton films, the characters are a bit quirky, the circumstances a bit off beat, and the premise an extreme version of what you might find in reality. I think this movie is one of his best.

Movie #69 - Best in Show

Best in Show

Castle Rock Entertainment

2006 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 30 min

Director: Christopher Guest

Starring: Parker Posey, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Bob Balaban, Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, John Michael Higgins, Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Lynch, Ed Begley Jr., Fred Willard
I can't help it. Next to Guffman, this is my favorite Christopher Guest and company movie. The characters are great, the dogs adorable, and the utter seriousness with which they handle difficult situations is hillarious.

Michael McKean and John Michael Higgins are probably my favorite characters, with Parker Posey and her hubby a close second. And of course, who doesn't love a good Jane Lynch character? Before she was Sue Sylvestor, she was kicking dog butt and taking names as Butch's butch dog handler Christie Cummings.

So if you always wondered what the "real" world of dog shows was all about, this mockumentary is one you can't miss. It's fun, it's funny, and it's full of that usual Guest charm.

Movie #68 - Beowulf

Beowulf
Paramount Pictures
2007 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Robin Wright, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Crispin Glover, Angelina Jolie, Ray Winstone

I'm not gonna lie, this movie is a little bit weird. I really think it was made because they thought it would look cool. It does, it's true, but I didn't really find anything all that compelling about this movie.

For the most part, I'm too distracted by all the weird accents everyone is using... particularly Angelina Jolie. And since I'm watching all these movies alphabetically, when Grendel came on screen my first thought was, "Oh look! It's George McFly."

Anyway... I'm not that impressed with this one. It really seems like something a bunch of geeks made just because they could (and because they all had secret fantasies about Angelina Jolie in animated form.) That's all I got, folks.

Movie #67 - Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice
Warner Bros. Pictures
1988 - Rated PG - 1 hr 32 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Catherine O'Hara, Winona Ryder

Here's another example of a movie that's so classic it's on TV all the time. I feel like I just watched this movie a couple of weeks ago, probably on TV, and just because, "Hey, Beetlejuice is on..."

Before Tim Burton directed Michael Keaton in Batman and Batman Returns, he paired up with him on this weird one. I did not know this until, well, about five minutes ago when I went to IMDB for the year. Something in his performance as Beetlejuice said to Tim Burton, "Hey, man. I'd make a sexy Batman." I'm not sure what, but there must've been something there, however tiny.

Anyway, who doesn't love this movie? It's a lighthearted look at death, the afterlife, haunted mansions, and old-school goth culture as demonstrated by an adolescent, pre-shoplifting Winona Ryder. And every time I watch this movie I remember Catherine O'Hara is in it. I have to admit that I also sing "Day-Oh" right along with them.

Here.... you can sing along too!

Movie #66 - Beerfest

Beerfest
Warner Bros Pictures
2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 50 min
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Starring: Paul Soter, Eric Stolhanske, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Jay Chandrasekhar, Cloris Leachman, Will Forte, Eric Christian Olsen, Mo'Nique

Oh, these guys. This installment of Broken Lizard is one of my favorites, so watching this was a good time. Honestly, binge drinking has never been as funny as when these guys are "training" for the big Beerfest competition in Germany.

What I love most about the movie is the sentimental plot, where these two brothers are competing in Beerfest against their evil German cousins to prove a point: their grandfather was the rightful heir to the family brewery and their great-grandmother (a priceless Cloris Leachman) is not a whore. This adds an almost heartwarming dimension to the plot so it's not just about getting trashed and playing beer pong.

As usual, the five Broken Lizard members characterize their roles perfectly, from a nearly unrecognizable Steve Lemme as nerdy Finkelstein to the ex-frat boy Landfill played by Kevin Heffernan. These guys are seriously talented and always fun to watch. Definitely recommended if you want to laugh out loud.

Movie #65 - Bedazzled

Bedazzled
Twentieth Century Fox
2000 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 33 min
Director: Harold Ramis
Starring: Elizabeth Hurley, Brendan Fraser, Frances O'Connor, Miriam Shor, Orlando Jones, Paul Adelstein

After three pretty sappy movies in a row, it was nice to break things up with a mindless comedy. In Bedazzled, Brendan Fraser plays a huge loser (teeth-gratingly annoying too) who gets a visit from the Devil, a.k.a. Elizabeth Hurley, who promises him 7 wishes in exchange for his soul. Seriously, hottest person to ever play the devil. And I'm not into that, but yikes. Red leather is her friend. I'm actually a little scared.

Anyway, this movie is exactly what you expect it to be. It's a series of wishes gone horribly wrong. As the viewer, you'll find yourself guessing what the glitch in each seemingly perfect scenario will be. And the script does well to surprise you occassionally with some funny stuff.

For a typical comedy, this movie is a good time. There's nothing exceedingly substantial here to critique, aside from the entertainment value. Brendan Fraser is fun to watch in all the scenarios and does a great job "characterizing" each. Elizabeth Hurley plays a great straightman, with an edge of mischief that will unsettle you just slightly throughout the movie. All around, a good way to spend some time, especially if you don't want to think about anything and you'd rather just laugh (at someone).

Movie #64 - Becoming Jane

Becoming Jane
Miramax Films
2007 - Rated PG - 2 hr
Director: Julian Jarrold
Starring: Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy, Julie Walters, James Cromwell, Maggie Smith

Okay, guys. Make fun of me all you want, but I love Jane Austen. As the mother of women's fiction, she stands alone as a pioneer of her day. She has captivated generations of readers with her heartwarming stories, all complete with a happy ending, and her works remain among the greatest classic works ever written.

But it seems that one can't write such compelling tales about love unless she herself has had her heart shattered at least once. In Becoming Jane, we spend some time getting to know and love the "real" Jane Austen. And even though you may know the ending, and the sad fact that she lived and died a spinster, you can't help cheering for her to end up with James McAvoy's character.

Anne Hathaway is brilliant and the script outstanding. These period pieces can sometimes drag and lull, until you want to doze off, but Becoming Jane is well paced and brings you a historical personage without any of the drabness you might expect. I love watching this movie again and again, and not because it's about Jane Austen.

But if you're not a fan of her work, don't worry. Her writing life is very much a background feature of this film, and you won't be bored with long excerpts read here and there. It's clear the writing is important to her, but it's never allowed to take the central focus away from her charming personality and sad love story.

She gets her own happy ending, in a way, but you come to care for her so much by the end of this movie, you can't help wishing she got all her heart desired.

Movie #63 - Beauty & the Beast

Beauty & the Beast
Walt Disney Pictures
1991 - Rated G - 1 hr 24 min
Directors: Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
Starring: Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Richard White, Jerry Orbach, David Ogden Stiers, Angela Lansbury

I'm just going to come out and say it. This movie still makes me cry. And I'm not talking about one little tear. Full blown sobbing. The ending is gorgeous. The pain palpable. I just love this movie.

And it's animated, so I can see how that might sound weird.

Still, I consider Beauty & the Beast to be Walt Disney Pictures's masterpiece. I mean, come on. It won an Oscar for Best Picture, inspiring the Academy to create a separate category for Animated Feature Films. It was the first Disney movie to hit the Broadway stage. And I think it's still running... Just Googled that, and it's the sixth longest running musical in Broadway history. Take that, Cats!

So I love this movie. That's no secret. I've loved it from the first time I saw it in the movie theater. I can still remember seeing it. If you haven't seen this movie, there's something wrong with you. And if you don't know all the words to "Be Our Guest," I'm surprised (but I don't judge).

I really don't have much of a review to write about this one, since I'm so clearly biased. Watching this for the first time with Ellie was one of the highlights of my Movie Wall project thus far. And let me tell you, I think we have another big fan on our hands here, folks.

Movie #62 - Be Kind Rewind

Be Kind Rewind
New Line Cinema
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 42 min
Director: Michael Gondry
Starring: Jack Black, Mos Def, Danny Glover, Mia Farrow, Melonie Diaz


Alright, first of all, this movie is not as funny as the previews made it seem. True, the Ghostbusters filming and some of the other moments between this unlikely duo illicit a chuckle, but for the most part, I wasn't laughing.

That said, the movie's not bad. It's just different from what I expected it to be, and when that happens, it takes my brain a moment to go, "Oh, hey. I liked that in a different way than I thought I would." So I do like this, and it's heartwarming save-the-town, preserve-VHS-tapes message. It's fun to watch, for sure. But pretty calm for a Jack Black movie.

It's not one I'll watch over and over, but I liked it all the same. And even though the ending is a bit weird (it just kinda stops...), I'm glad they didn't try to keep going. Everything you need to see resolved is resolved. Good for them for just ending it where it needed... even if it's a bit awkward.

Movie #61 - Be Cool

Be Cool
MGM
2005 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 58 min
Director: F. Gary Gray
Starring: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Andre Benjamin, Steven Tyler, Christina Milian, Harvey Keitel, Dwayne Johnson

Want to learn about the seedy underbelly of the music industry? Here you go.

As the sequel to Get Shorty, this movie stands alone without leaving you confused. I know first hand, since I originally saw this one before I saw Get Shorty. I've seen both now and I feel like they can each stand on their own. Which is a good thing for me since they're alphabetically so distant.

So John Travolta is a big time movie producer who just had a big hit with Get Leo and now he wants in on the music business. Christina Milian plays his first client and a whole host of other big music names show up here and there, like gangster Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000 from Outkast). And of course, as you might guess, everyone wants to kill him. Mostly, they kill each other in the process. Vince Vaughn plays a hell of a pimp, Dwayne Johnson is his gay, star-struck body guard, and Uma Thurman plays the hip, cool music exec.

This one is lots of fun to watch. Travolta is his charming, mischievious self, which is always a good time. It takes on hit-and-runs and hired killers with a certain nonchalance that helps this movie not to take itself too seriously. It's just a good time.

RedBox Rental: Babies

Babies
Studio Canal
2010 - Rated PG - 1 hr 19 min
Director: Thomas Balmes
Starring: Bayar, Hattie, Mari, Ponijao

This one was a rental and it's a documentary, but I'd been hearing so much about it that I thought I'd take a peek and tell you what I thought.

Basically, Thomas Balmes follows four babies in four different parts of the world from "their first breaths to their first steps." Bayar is the second boy to a Mongolian farming family; Hattie is a first born girl in San Francisco (to a couple of hippy-ish parents); Mari is a first born girl in Japan; and Ponijao is the second baby for a woman in Namibia (she has one older brother).

There are no subtitles and no narrator; all you're asked to do is watch the babies. The film is well balanced between the four, and very well edited. Watching these babies grow, a few things become evident:

1. No matter what the environment is like, all babies show the same curiosity and wonder at their surroundings.
2. Babies don't develop exactly at the same pace, but the steps they take are nearly identical.
3. All babies, no matter the foreign tongue, babble the same ways.
4. Older siblings are going to lay the beatdown, even if a camera crew is watching.

Maybe it's because I'm a new mom, but this was really fun to watch. I'm sort of a documentary fan anyhow, though. Well, whatever. This movie is adorable and subtly educational. I probably won't own it, but I would recommend renting it.

RedBox Rental: Cop Out

Cop Out

Warner Bros.

2010 - Rated R - 1 hr 47 min

Director: Kevin Smith

Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Pollack, Adam Brody

I don't have much to say about this movie. We rented it thinking it would be a good laugh, but it ultimately feel flat. Tracy Morgan basically plays his character on 30 Rock and Bruce Willis just seems tired. To make it even worse, the plot is pretty stupid... Bruce Willis's prized baseball card gets stolen, a card he was going to sell to pay for his daughter's wedding. So they have to get it back. Yeah...

When all is said and done, there are a few funny bits -- a great recurring gag about Tracy Morgan's character quoting classic movies -- but this winds up being just another buddy cop movie. I expected better from Kevin Smith. Disappointing all around.

Movie #60 - Battle Royale

Battle Royale
Starmax
2000 - Not Rated - 1 hr 54 min
Director: Kinji Fukasaku
Starring: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Taro Yamamoto

Ok... wow. This movie... wow.

Let me first say thank you to my friend Derek for getting this movie for us. Let me also say that, after watching it, I promptly instructed Mike that he needed to watch it. Hell, I'll watch it again right now if he wants to.

Before you go and watch this, I have to worn you it's kinda gorey. I happen to think that's awesome, but you might not. Figured I'd worn you now.

So the basic plot is that the Japanese government (in an alternate timeline) passes the Battle Royale Act to thin the younger population. Unemployment is high, the economy is down, and adults are blaming delinquent youth for a lot of their problems. In the BR Act, a class of students is selected to spend three days on a deserted island, killing each other off until only one remains. In the movie, a group of 42 delinquent ninth graders must fight the Battle Royale to survive and "win."

You can tell that the film makers took great delight in filming a bunch of 13-year-olds wielding weapons and spraying blood everywhere... especially since they're all still wearing their school uniforms. And those scenes are fun, but what I enjoyed most was the Lord of the Flies like look at the human response to dire situations like this. Some of the students just start hunting, others find anyway they can not to participate even if it means taking their own lives, and some students try to band together. But when only one person can survive, even the tightest friends will have to turn on each other eventually.

So I really loved this movie and I want everyone to watch it now. (You know, as long as blood doesn't make you want to vomit.) It's one of those "what if" movies that are fun to watch but you hope will never actually happen...

Movie #59 - Batteries Not Included

Batteries Not Included
Universal Pictures1987 - Rated PG - 1 hr 46 min
Director: Matthew Robbins
Starring: Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Frank McRae, Dennis Boutsikaris, Elizabeth Pena

Awww! Cute, cuddly spaceship robot things... Science fiction and family entertainment are perfectly united in this heartwarming 80s movie. It's definitely dated, but you forget about that quickly. The real story is told among the remaining tennants of this soon-to-be-demolished apartment building. A group of strangers are brought together, confront their own personal problems, and get a little help from an unlikely source.

The robot-spaceships (what are they even called?) are never explained and I'm not sure if I like that or not. The mystery of this movie adds a certain lightheartedness to the whole plot, but it was driving me nuts not knowing. I guess the point is that sometimes help comes to us and we don't need to know why or how. This is pretty deep stuff right here.

Anyway, I love this one. It was great to watch it again after all these years and find that it still holds up. Classic.

Movie #58 - Batman Begins

Batman Begins
Warner Bros. Pictures

2005 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 20 min
Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Ken Watanabe


I remember when this movie came out thinking, "Another Batman? Why?" But after watching those last four, I can see what the franchise needed a new start. In Batman Begins, the slate gets wiped clean and Christopher Nolan takes a stab at how Batman became the Batman. And some clever bits and pieces are added to deepen his character.

This movie takes the comic-ness out of the story and makes it more accessible. Batman isn't just one-half vigilante and one-half playboy. Instead, we get to see his relationship with his father, how deeply scarring it was to lose his parents, how his childhood friend can affect him, and how his training made him what he is. Plus, it's fun to watch Christian Bale train with ninjas, just sayin'.

Christian Bale may not be the best Batman, but he's great at the gritty, wounded hero thing. He could do without the Batman voice, as I'm sure most people would agree, but it's a small criticism in an otherwise entertaining movie.

I really enjoyed this movie when I first saw it in the theater and I still like it now. My only regret is that the sequel The Dark Knight is filed under D... or else I'd be happy to move onto it right away.

Movie #57 - Batman & Robin

Batman & Robin
Warner Bros. Pictures
1997 - Rated PG - 2 hr 5 min
Director: Joel Schumacher
Starring: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone

This movie is like a Who's Who in Nineties Film? project. That dude from Circle of Friends, that chick from Clueless, and oh yeah, the hottest doctor (move over, McDreamy) on TV: that guy from ER. And Arnold. He's cool too.

It's the same director, and yet the only person in this movie from the last is Chris O'Donnell... who plays the kid-brother kind of Robin that you want to punch in the face. Sorry, he annoys me. Whine, whine, whine. Go play on your trapeze, you big baby.

This time, Alfred is sick, his niece (Silverstone) is in town visiting, and a whole bunch of funky stuff is going down at a nearby lab - owned, of course, by Wayne Enterprises. In fact, between Dr. Freeze's cryogenics accident and Pamela what's-her-name's plant problem, Batman & Robin feels like an anti-chemistry advertisement at times. "Don't play with cryogenics at home, kids..."

Again, we have randomly intersecting bad guy plot lines, making things irritatingly complicated at times. At least there's legit girl power in this movie (although it's not much... I mean, really. Batgirl? She couldn't come up with an independent name?), and another dowdy chick turns hot thanks to a freak accident (i.e. Catwoman and Poison Ivy could be BFF's and share weird stories over a pedicure some time.)

But the best part about this movie is what it signifies... the END of the Batman movies before Christopher Nolan rebooted the franchise. Thank God.

Movie #56 - Batman Forever

Batman Forever
Warner Bros. Pictures
1995 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 1 min
Director: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell
New Batman, new director, new look... kinda. These films are still a dark interpretation of the comic series, without being 100% comic. Some of the modern hero movies / graphic novel movies seem straight off the page, a really interesting and aesthetic approach. The Batman movies seem to get lost in the pages... maybe that's my problem with these earlier movies.

Anyway, Val Kilmer is not as gritty a Batman as Michael Keaton (or Christian Bale for that matter) but he plays the suave Bruce Wayne pretty well. Is it intentional that the Harvey Dent that was Lando Calrissian in the first movie is now Tommy Lee Jones? Or are we okay with it because there's a new Batman? Whatever.

Anyway, Jim Carrey is just... weird. Not sure why he's in this movie. Jones is pretty gross looking and definitely has split personality issues, but that's to be expected. I hear being drenched in acid can make you go nuts, so I'm not going to judge him for that. And if he wants to have a girlfriend for each side of his face, more power too him.

The one thing that really does bother me about this movie is Nicole Kidman's character Chase Meridian. She's supposed to be this big, smart psychologist who wants to study Batman's psyche and diagnose his inner pain. She makes all these comments about how he probably has a troubled past. Then she talks to Bruce Wayne about his troubled past. Somehow, she can't connect the dots. I wanted to shake her a couple of times.

Otherwise, this movie wasn't terrible...

Movie #55 - Batman Returns

Batman Returns

Warner Bros. Pictures

1992 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfiefer, Christopher Walken

Here's another great cast given some crappy writing. I really, really wish that Batman hadn't returned, but here we are again.

This time, Christopher Walken is a big corporate jerk who wants to build a power plant. To get his way, he teams up with the Penguin (more on him later) to try to unseat the Mayor and get approval to build. Obviously, Batman is too energy conscious to allow such a superfluous construction to be built. Obviously.

And oh yeah, Michelle Pfiefer works for Walken, figures out he's a scumbag, and so he pushes her out a window. But since she's a crazy, dowdy cat lady, all the cats in the neighborhood team up to bring her back to life. Thank God. Now she has nine lives and suddenly knows how to make a pleather cat suit. In the words of 90's male viewers who needed the eye candy, Thank God.

I think her character is solely intended to empower women. She fights back against jerky men. Those big jerks. They're just... such jerks. And if only someone had actual claws to scratch them across their jerky faces, women will suddenly earn equal wages. Glass ceiling be damned! Catwoman is here.

But I digress.

The Penguin is even more of a joke. He was born deformed so his parents dropped him in a sewer (obviously, cuz that's what you do) where he was raised by penguins. Apparently, DC Comics and Tim Burton wanted to explore the alternative Tarzan's life. Just so you know, being raised by penguins makes you evil.

Mike argues that comic books always have "weird" plot lines and characters in them, and this is
supposed to be like that. Fine. I'm ok with that. But penguin-raised bad guys have no place anywhere, not even a comic book. Sorry, kids.

Movie #54 - Batman

Batman
Warner Bros. Pictures
1989 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Jack Nicholson, Billy Dee Williams

I don't even know where to start with this movie. Suffice it to say, my opinions on Batman caused an argument with my husband. According to him, Michael Keaton is the best Batman there ever was.

Adam West is pissed off about this.

Well, whatever. Mike can like this movie all he wants. I think it's kind of a big mess. Tim Burton had not yet hit his stride, that much is evident. He's a great director, the cast isn't bad. I mean, Jack Nicholson single-handedly carries this movie from beginning to end. He's worth watching, but that's where my praise ends.

If it's been a while since you've seen this (as it had been for me), then let me refresh your memory. The Joker's diabolical scheme is to poison cosmetics. Poison. Cosmetics. He kills 13 people. That's it. Thirteen people. The flu virus kills more people in a week.

Seriously, folks.

But the thing about this movie that irritated me more than the plot was the cheesy sound effects. I'm not sure if they were going for the lame-o (yet classic) sound effects of the early Batman tv show or if they just had a sucky foley artist. But halfway through the movie, I stopped counting how many cartoon-ish bullet richocet sounds I heard. It was just pissing me off. Cartoon "Pows" and "Kablams" would have been better, I think.

Movie #53 - Basic

Basic

Sony Pictures

2003 - Rated R - 1 hr 38 min

Director: John McTiernan

Starring: John Travolta, Connie Nielsen, Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Daly, Giovanni Ribisi, Taye Diggs, Harry Connick Jr.

Ok, I feel like I've been watching a lot of "mindless" entertainment so far, but here's one that will get you thinking for sure. Military intrigue is always a good time, and Basic does not disappoint.

If you haven't seen this one, I don't want to give too much away. I really recommend giving it a peek. Basically, the plot centers around the murder of Samuel L. Jackson and the special ops team that's accused of killing him. From beginning to end there are many twists and turns, and you'll be surprised to find out what's really going on here.

Travolta is great, Jackson is so good you want to punch him yourself, and the supporting cast are spot on. Well done all around. Definitely a favorite!

Movie #52 - Baseketball

Baseketball

MCA/Universal Pictures

1998 - Rated R - 1 hr 43 min

Director: David Zucker

Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Dian Bachar, Yasmine Bleeth, Jenny McCarthy, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Vaughn

Want to watch a couple of the South Park kids all grown up? Here you go! It's fun to watch Matt and Trey in this live action (unrelated to South Park) comedy, but if you're a fan, you can easily spot the similarities. Especially when Trey Parker performs his best Eric Cartman in a clutch psych out.

If you haven't seen it, Baseketball is about a couple of losers who invent a cool new game that takes the sporting world by storm. It's a hoops shooting game that uses baseball rules, kinda like horse but so much cooler. With the existing sports leagues (NFL, NHL, MLB, etc) too fixated on winning big and getting paid, a new sport like this is refreshing. Too bad something like this doesn't exist... it seems like your "every man" type of game. And who doesn't want the chance to get famous playing a game that doesn't require you to break a sweat?

Anyway, if you've ever been irritated by overpaid sports players, this movie is one to see. Some moments are a bit corny or overly slapstick (i.e. the hospital debacle) but overall, it's a lot of fun.

Movie #51 - Balls of Fury

Balls of Fury

Rogue Pictures

2007 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 30 min

Director: Robert Ben Garant

Starring: Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q, James Hung, Thomas Lennon

A movie about the dark and dangerous game of ping pong might sound a bit far-fetched, but this stellar cast's outstanding committment to the premise makes it work. Christopher Walken is hillarious, although not at all Asian (you'll get it when you see it), and attacks this character with his usual Walkenese fervor. It's the best part of this movie.

Unless you consider the fantastic Def Leppard soundtrack. That's pretty awesome, too.

I don't know much about the ancient Chinese tradition of ping pong, but this movie does a good job trying to educate you. But if you ever do find yourself in a sudden-death ping pong tournament, just watch out for Diedrich Bader and the courtesans of pleasure. Wow.

Movie #50 - Bad Boys II

Bad Boys II
Columbia Pictures
2003 - Rated R - 2 hr 27 min
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano

Eight years later, Michael Bay is still blowing sh*t up. And getting better at it, too. Mike and Marcus are still at each others' throats in a way that makes you forget their profession of love to one another at the end of the first movie. Especially since Mike is involved with Marcus's sister. Uh oh...

So we open on a shoot out with the KKK, which features Martin Lawrence "singing" the verse to the song Bad Boys. I remember this scene from the preview. And somehow, even though it's shot using Michael Bay's classic 360-degree circle approach, it's still funny.

Gabrielle Union is really just the eye candy here (sorry, Gabs) and sets up the plot by getting kidnapped. Save the girl, get the bad guy, uncover the money laundering. Standard stuff here, fellas. Still, it's done with such explosive panache from the director and such charming wit from its stars that you can't help but enjoy this one.

And, oh by the way, that's 50 MOVIES DOWN, ONLY 500+ TO GO!

Movie #49 - Bad Boys

Bad Boys
Columbia Pictures
1995 - Rated R - 1 hr 58 min
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Joe Pantoliano, Tea Leoni

In this movie, Michael Bay blows some sh*t up. Shocking, I know. Also, Tea Leoni tries her hand at action films. That actually is shocking, but not as disastrous as you might think.

Martin Lawrence and Will Smith are lots of fun to watch in this movie. The whole "who's Mike Lowrey" subplot probably goes on a bit too long, but the mix up makes the interactions between them all the more priceless. Many shoot outs ensue, Tea Leoni is apparently a "bullet magnet," and the Bad Boys win. But they probably overuse the slo-mo action sequence thing. Guess I can't blame them... that technique was pretty revolutionary in 1995, wasn't it?

Overall, this is a fun buddy cop movie that's a little more intense than your average Starsky & Hutch episode. Lots of fire and guns, lots of diving through the air, and a little bit of a body count, too. Good times.

Movie #48 - Back to the Future Part III

Back to the Future Part III
Universal Pictures
1990 - Rated PG - 1 hr 48 min
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen, Thomas F. Wilson, Lea Thompson, Elisabeth Shue

Alright, I'm going to come right out and say it. They weren't ready to kill the series, so they decided to screw with time some more. Now it's Doc's turn to start causing trouble... I mean, he does deserve it. And apparently, a little something-something from Mary Steenburgen.

That's not to say that I don't like this movie... actually, as a kid, I thought this one was the most fun. It's good to see that Marty isn't selfish with his time traveling pursuits and will step up and help Doc save his life and his love. He really is a good guy. And Doc is still a crackpot.

Anyway, enjoy the little Irish accents on Lea Thompson and Michael J Fox in this one. I was pretty impressed, actually. Mad Dog Tannen is clearly Biff in disguise. I wouldn't put it past that old bastard to follow them to 1855. He was a really big jerk, you guys. It could happen.

So Part III might not be necessary to the overall story arc of this series, but it does make a nice, neat package. Three movies always seems to be the magic number and this is a worthy addition to the movie wall. It's not necessary but it really is fun. Just enjoy this whole series. And if you can, I really recommend watching them in order, back to back. The consistencies are even more meaningful this way.

Movie #47 - Back to the Future Part II

Back to the Future Part II
Universal Pictures
1989 - Rated PG - 1 hr 48 min
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Thomas F. Wilson, Elisabeth Shue

Oh, Biff! How much trouble can one cranky old man really cause? His character is a real jerk, but he's the kind of jerk we all love to hate. Cuz didn't we all know a Biff of our very own back in high school? His name wasn't likely Biff, but you catch my drift.

Anyway, watching these back to back is something I've never done. We pick up seamlessly where we left off (four calendar years after, four cinema seconds later). Except we've now added Elisabeth Shue! Hello, Elisabeth! We all know how much I love her, and her babysitting dramas. Anyway, now she's a knocked-out girlfriend in a time machine who ends up meeting her older self and passing out! Now that's plot, folks.

Again, Zemeckis and company are sticking steadfastly to their own rules as they travel ahead to go back-back, to fix ahead and then ahead-ahead. You still with me? On paper, this movie makes your head sping. In practice, you can actually follow it.

That right there is an achievement.

So we get everything sorted out. Biff is again repressed, Dad is again alive, Marty still has his hot wheels and of course, he gets the girl. Until! Oh no! Doc! Doc goes back to the past, and Western Union has been waiting for Marty. Thank God for Western Union (how much add money did they give Spielberg for this anyway?)

Enter cheesy-ass Western preview. And they're making a Part III! I've heard Mike talk about this "cool preview" and how psyched he was to see it in the theater. I think you have to truly be 8 to think it's cool.

On to the promised Part III!