Movie #360 - Last Man Standing

Last Man Standing
1996 - Rated R - 1 hr 41 min
Director: Walter Hill
Starring: Bruce Willis, Bruce Dern, William Sanderson, Christopher Walken, David Patrick Kelly, Karina Lombard, Alexandra Powers, Ken Jenkins, Leslie Mann

If you like 20's-era gangster movies that feature a "modern" 90's action hero... tada!  Bruce Willis puts on his dapperest attire to play this gunslinger who gets caught up in a mob war in Jericho, Texas during prohibition.  There are prostitutes, lots of guns, and some gratuitous violence. Delicious!

For me, the action is fun. And Willis is always good at the gritty hero-who's-no-hero role, so that works.  But the plot feels a little convuluded at times.  There's some chicks involved that Willis tries to save, but mostly he destroys all the mobsters to save his own neck. 

And yeah, he's the "last man standing" in case you were wondering.

Movie #103 - Catch Me If You Can

Catch Me If You Can
DreamWorks
2002 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 21 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen, Amy Adams, James Brolin

Want to watch Leo play with people's hearts, minds, and money for two hours? Want to see what it would be like if Christopher Walken were his dad?  How about if Tom Hanks were a fast-acting FBI agent, just one step behind a masterful con artist?

This movie's just fun to watch, given that it's based on an actual true story.  Adapted from the book by con artist Frank Abagnale Jr. - who led federal agencies on a wild goose chase across the country before he turned 19 - these stories seem delightfully farcical.  When you stop and remember that they actually happened, it's even more interesting.  Of course, none of these tricks would work today, but it's still funny to see how easily this kid manipulates and cons.

Then you realize it's a good thing he was a fairly good-natured guy...

Movie #55 - Batman Returns

Batman Returns

Warner Bros. Pictures

1992 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfiefer, Christopher Walken

Here's another great cast given some crappy writing. I really, really wish that Batman hadn't returned, but here we are again.

This time, Christopher Walken is a big corporate jerk who wants to build a power plant. To get his way, he teams up with the Penguin (more on him later) to try to unseat the Mayor and get approval to build. Obviously, Batman is too energy conscious to allow such a superfluous construction to be built. Obviously.

And oh yeah, Michelle Pfiefer works for Walken, figures out he's a scumbag, and so he pushes her out a window. But since she's a crazy, dowdy cat lady, all the cats in the neighborhood team up to bring her back to life. Thank God. Now she has nine lives and suddenly knows how to make a pleather cat suit. In the words of 90's male viewers who needed the eye candy, Thank God.

I think her character is solely intended to empower women. She fights back against jerky men. Those big jerks. They're just... such jerks. And if only someone had actual claws to scratch them across their jerky faces, women will suddenly earn equal wages. Glass ceiling be damned! Catwoman is here.

But I digress.

The Penguin is even more of a joke. He was born deformed so his parents dropped him in a sewer (obviously, cuz that's what you do) where he was raised by penguins. Apparently, DC Comics and Tim Burton wanted to explore the alternative Tarzan's life. Just so you know, being raised by penguins makes you evil.

Mike argues that comic books always have "weird" plot lines and characters in them, and this is
supposed to be like that. Fine. I'm ok with that. But penguin-raised bad guys have no place anywhere, not even a comic book. Sorry, kids.

Movie #51 - Balls of Fury

Balls of Fury

Rogue Pictures

2007 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 30 min

Director: Robert Ben Garant

Starring: Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q, James Hung, Thomas Lennon

A movie about the dark and dangerous game of ping pong might sound a bit far-fetched, but this stellar cast's outstanding committment to the premise makes it work. Christopher Walken is hillarious, although not at all Asian (you'll get it when you see it), and attacks this character with his usual Walkenese fervor. It's the best part of this movie.

Unless you consider the fantastic Def Leppard soundtrack. That's pretty awesome, too.

I don't know much about the ancient Chinese tradition of ping pong, but this movie does a good job trying to educate you. But if you ever do find yourself in a sudden-death ping pong tournament, just watch out for Diedrich Bader and the courtesans of pleasure. Wow.