Movie #419 - Live Free or Die Hard

Live Free or Die Hard

2007 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 8 min
Director: Len Wiseman
Starring: Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, Maggie Q, Cliff Curtis, Kevin Smith, Andrew Friedman, Jonathan Sadowski

This one was a first-time watch. Yes, it took me FOUR years to get around to seeing this. Shameful, right?

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised at what a worthy follow-up this movie is to the successful 90's trilogy.  McLane's older, not really that much wiser, and still as ornery as they come.  Toss him into a world of computers and hackers and he's lost, but he makes up for what he can't decode with brute strength and guts.  Also, he can take helicopters out of the air with a broken fire hydrant, which is pretty friggin' sweet.

So I did enjoy this one. It's a fresher take on the "outdated" franchise, but it still stays true to the main character and his approach to law enforcement.  There's even a nice throwback line, saved for the very end.  Nice work, all around.

Movie #418 - The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid
1989 - Rated G - 1 hr 23 min
Directors: Ron Clements, John Musker
Starring: Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll, Buddy Hackett, Kenneth Mars, Edie McClurg, Rene Auberjonois

In the 80s, many feared that Disney's animation department was on its way out.  I remember how huge this movie was when it came out and I even saw it twice in the theater.  I was 8. I had no idea the kind of legacy this movie helped to rebuild but still, I sensed there was something special about this under-sea tale.

And I loved every minute of it. It was fresh and unique for its time, but still did so much to enchant a little girl's imagination.  I wanted to be a mermaid, I wanted to be a princess.  Okay, I wanted to be a princess mermaid. And meet my handsome prince.

Reggae music, seashells, and evil squid-women aside, the story is a much needed update to Hans Christian Anderson's original fairytale.  One that ends in terrible tragedy (see Once On This Island for a musical that stays true to his heart-breaking ending).  For Disney, suicide won't do... so let's give the mermaid what she wants. 

And thank goodness they did.  It was a bold move for the studio, but one that reshaped their future.  Look at all the little girls who still want to be princess mermaids, more than 20 years later.

Movie #417 - The Lion King

The Lion King
1994 - Rated G - 1 hr 29 min
Directors: Roger Allers, Rob Minkoff
Starring: Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Nathan Lane, Ernie Sabella, Jeremy Irons, Robert Guillaume, Rowan Atkinson, Moira Kelly, Cheech Marin, Whoopi Goldberg, Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Who doesn't love this movie? And who hasn't -- at some point -- quoted those iconic lines? "Everything the light touches..." "The king has returned..." "Hakuna Matata..."

Really, this one's so ingrained in my generation's childhood, it's hard to escape.  And now that it's a Broadway musical, everyone else loves it too.  It's easy to see why, with such a gripping story of deceipt that even adults can love, the kind of jokes that get mom, dad, and the kids all laughing, and some of the best songs Disney ever churned out of their powerhouse years.  This puts the cap on Disney's golden age for me.  I'll watch it over and over and over again.  Anytime Ellie asks.

Movie #416 - Lilo & Stitch

Lilo & Stitch
2002 - Rated PG - 1 hr 25 min
Directors: Dean deBlois, Chris Sanders
Starring: Daveigh Chase, Chris Sanders, Tia Carrere, David Ogden Stiers, Kevin McDonald, Ving Rhames, Jason Scott Lee, Kevin Michael Richardson

Oh, Stitch.  From his demolition of tiny cities to his impression of Elvis Pressley, you gotta love this mangy furball.  He's no stray dog, that's for sure, but something makes you want to cuddle him all the same.

Add to Stitch's irrestible charm the beauty of an animated Hawaiian island, a story of two heart-broken sisters, and a couple of wacky aliens along for the ride, and tada! Instant hit!  Hell, we watched this with friends in college and loved it, which speaks to its appeal across age lines.  You don't need kids to enjoy this one, folks.

Movie #415 - Life of Brian

Life of Brian

1979 - Rated R - 1 hr 34 min
Director: Terry Jones
Starring: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

It's always a welcome change of pace to pop a Monty Python movie into my DVD player.  We don't have many of them, for now at least.

And this one has always been a fan favorite.  It's no Grail, which is coming up in the M's, but the whole ordinary guy caught up in extraordinary circumstances in the time of Jesus is pretty clever.  From the misinformed magi who praise Brian at birth to the Latin grammar-correcting centurion, the off-beat comedy of the Monty Python troupe is very much alive and well here.  It's a great testament to their versatility as well, with most of the actors picking up several roles throughout, sprinkling quotable one-liners here and there.

Granted, this has to be your kind of humor to appreciate it.  But I love a good skit by these guys, so a whole movie is fantastic.

Movie #414 - A Life Less Ordinary

A Life Less Ordinary

1997 - Rated R - 1 hr 43 min
Director: Danny Boyle
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter, Delroy Lindo, Ian McNiece, Stanley Tucci, Tony Shalhoub, Ian Holm

Weird movie, this one.  Weird, but weirdly cute too. Diaz and McGregor are an unlikely pair -- although their respective hair-dos are both awesomely 90s-tastic! -- who find themselves in very unlikely circumstances. Mainly, as kidnapper and kidnappee... although it's not always clear which of them is which.

Anyway, the whole angels-meddling-in-the-business-of-love bit turns this regular rom-com into something otherworldy, full of strange scenarios where Hunter and Lindo (the love angels assigned to the couple) are either trying too hook them up or kill them.  If they don't get these two together, they're doomed to a life stuck on earth. Bummer.

There is indeed as much going on here as the above synopsis suggests, and somehow, the movie doesn't get bogged down.  The plot moves along at a good clip, with lots of great scenes, and some actually believable scenes between our young lovers.  It's cute. Weird, like I said, but cute.

Movie #413 - Life as a House

Life as a House

2001 - Rated R - 2 hr 5 min
Director: Irwin Winkler
Starring: Kevin Kline, Hayden Christensen, Kristin Scott Thomas, Jena Malone, Mary Steenburgen, Ian Somerhalder, Scott Bakula

Okay, okay. This movie made me cry.

No, not just cry.  Sob.  I sobbed at the end of this movie.  And Ellie was really concerned about me for a minute, then blew raspberrie in my face.  Which solved my sobbing problem.

But really... Kline as a divorced dad trying to spend a few final moments with his nearly-estranged teenage son before succumbing to terminal cancer; building a house that brings a family and neighborhood together; falling in love with his ex-wife all over again just days before... well, you know. Damn cancer.

Although it makes you cry, this movie does a lot of other things as well.  It inspires and it makes your heart swell, it makes you think about people in your life that matter to you, makes you want to be a good parent to your children (even if you don't have them yet.)  It may or may not make you want to build a house--that's up to you.  But this movie, even though it made me sob, made me feel good about some things.

That's saying something.

Movie #412 - Licence to Kill

Licence to Kill

1989 - Rated R - 2 hr 13 min

Director: John Glen
Starring: Timothy Dalton, Carey Lowell, Robert Davi, Wayne Newton, Benicia Del Toro, Desmond Llewelyn, Anthony Zerbe

Thank goodness Timothy Dalton's Bond knows how to trick-drive a semi, or this movie would have ended completely differently.  Really... that's just crazy, that whole end sequence.

So Dalton's Bond... this is my first time watching this movie and I have mixed feelings.  Good plot, good action sequences, nice use of Q "in the field," and a nice range of ladies for Bond to get tangled up with. Dalton's not my favorite Bond (is he anyone's?) but he brings a certain flare to going rogue and working undercover... in a tux. Yes, Bond is about the only character to have ever combined drug-circle infiltration with a martini, but it's not all fun and games, you know?

Not a bad entry into the franchise's books, but definitely not a favorite. Not with the likes of Daniel Craig filling the icon's shoes these days. It's tough to compare.

Movie #411 - The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines

The Librarian: Return to King Solomon's Mines

2006 (TV) - 1 hr 32 min
Director: Jonathan Frakes
Starring: Noah Wylie, Bob Newhart, Gabrielle Anwar, Jane Curtain, Olympia Dukakis, Lisa Brenner, Jonathan Frakes, Erick Avari

More Noah Wylie, but a new chick this time.  And she's a professor, so she can actually argue with him about things and keep him on his toes.  She also happens to be Fiona from Burn Notice. Hey there.

The rest of the cast is back, but Nicole just isn't there anymore.  Okay. She must've been filming Lost, right? So we've got Newhart and Curtain, and a stubborn Excalibur trying to kill Noah Wylie just because. And now there's a shady "uncle" and a little more backstory about the dad.  The journey to Solomon's Mines was just as fun as the first movie's adventure, but again, the real story here was more specific to Flynn Carter's personal journey.  Unravelling those mysteries, and seeing the "uncle's" true colors were more engaging for me.

But it's a fun adventure, so if you like that kind of geek-ery, this one's for you.

Movie #410- The Librarian: Quest for the Spear

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear

2004 (TV) - 1 hr 32 min
Director: Peter Winther
Starring: Noah Wylie, Bob Newhart, Jane Curtain, Olympia Dukakis, Sonya Walger, Kyle MacLachlan, Kelly Hu, David Dayan Fisher

Technically, I didn't have to watch either of these Librarian flicks because they're TV movies, but what the heck. I felt adventurous, and had never seen the second one before. So here we are.

This one I had already seen once and I enjoyed the premise of it, both then and now.  Wylie as the over-educated and seemingly filled with useless knowledge wanderer, forced to find a job and stumbling upon the chance of a lifetime.  He gives hope to all those young guys out there collecting degrees just for funsies.  And since defying death and other action-packed activities are not among his skills, there's a chick on hand to keep him  alive.

Hey! It's Penny from Lost! I didn't know who she was the first time I watched this one, way back when. But that was a fun discovery.

The quest is fun, though the effects are painfully TV quality at times, but for me it was the concept of the Library that really sold this movie.  The adventure was secondary to a really cool idea for me.

Movie #409 - The Libertine

The Libertine

2004 - Rated R - 1 hr 54 min
Director: Laurence Dunmore
Starring: Johnny Depp, Samantha Morton, John Malkovich, Rosamund Pike, Jack Davenport, Richard Coyle

This movie has Johnny Depp plus not one, but two actors from the show Coupling. Well done!

Although, I have to admit it's not Depp's best looking role.  Something about all that syphillis...  I think the chameleon in Rango is a better looking Depp part. Just sayin.

Anyway, this one's a strange, twisted biopic, where Depp plays 17th century writer John Wilmot-- a sex-crazed lush who just doesn't know when to stop pissing people off.  Samantha Morton plays the plain actress he falls in love with and coaches to stardom, while she and her pure ambition start to mess with Wilmot's mind.  He blames her for making him love life, having been much happier doing nothing before.  Strange relationship there.

Malkovich is underwhelming as King Charles II, the very king Depp pisses off with his play. It's the beginning of the end for the writer, as he succumbs to his illness and constant drunken stuppor at only 33.

A sad and tragic story, cut out of history for our like/disklike/indifference.  Personally, I enjoy the style of the film, beginning and ending with a Depp-delivered speech to the camera, and the aimlessness of the main character.  Little pieces of history from the time period always enthrall me, however, so I might be a bit biased :)

Movie #408 - Liar Liar

Liar Liar

1997 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 26 min
Director: Tom Shadyac
Starring: Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Carey Elwes, Jennifer Tilly, Swoosie Kurtz, Cheri Oteri

I'm glad we finally added this one to the Wall.  It's always been a favorite Carrey film of mine, because he gets to be both wacky and serious, all in one movie.  Sometimes all Carrey crazy is too much for me, so the balance gives this one more appeal to me.  And the little kid is pretty cute too.

In other news, Maura Tierney is the most famous alumnae of my high school. So that's pretty cool.  I learned that somewhere around the time that this movie came out.  We had the same English teacher. Weird.

Back to the movie... what better person to not be able to lie for a day than a lawyer? Right? I think the best sequence is in that courtroom, all the blue pen bit and the office quick-fire insults are also lots of fun.  But trying to turn the truth into something ambiguous is a tall order and it's scripted perfectly in that courtroom scene (you know, after he beats himself up in the bathroom then voluntarily stays to finish the hearing. Poor guy.)

And it's got a nice warm fuzzy ending for the hopeless romantics out there.  All around, lots of fun.

Movie #407 - Let's Go to Prison

Let's Go to Prison

2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 24 min
Director: Bob Odenkirk
Starring: Dax Shepard, Will Arnett, Chi McBride, David Koechner, Dylan Baker, Michael Shannon, Jay Whittaker

Yeah, this movie's pretty dumb. I also think it's pretty funny, so sue me. Okay?
I think Will Arnett's hillarious, so I'm in.

If you're not familiar with this comedy, Shepard plays a con who wants to get back at the judge who put him away.  Instead, he has to settle for ruining the life of the judge's son (Arnett) and gets him locked up through a too-easy scheme.  McBride plays the tough inmate who falls hard for Arnett, leading to a strange kind of partnership that is itself pretty entertaining. Koechner plays the corrupt prison guard only too eager to take bets on the next inmate fight.  Great actors and characters make this more fun than the lame premise suggests.

It had been a while since I'd last seen this one and it's a nice, light-hearted way to break up some of the heavier stuff and action-heavy stuff I've been watching lately.  It's always nice to laugh.

Movie #406 - Lethal Weapon 4

Lethal Weapon 4

1998 - Rated R - 2 hr 7 min
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, Jet Li, Kim Chan, Darlene Love, Traci Wolfe

This late-90s edition of Riggs & Murtaugh branches out into new territory.  Although Murtaugh didn't retire at the end of 3, like he said he was going to, age seems to be weighing down on both partners now, as well as personal responsibilities.  With a baby on the way for Riggs and a grandson on the way for Murtaugh, the added pressure provides a very realistic feeling to the movie.

With the Chinese Triad and Jet Li as the bad guys, the 4th movie seems to heighten the stakes all around.  The plotline is decent, bringing back the whole gang and introducing young cop Butters, played by Chris Rock.  I think this was my favorite one because it seems to have a reverent feeling to it. They're all in it, knowing this is it, and the nice warm fuzzy ending brings closure to a strong quadrilogy (is that the word?)

Of course, I just saw that a Lethal Weapon 5 is due for release in 2012... so hey. Maybe it's not the end, after all.

Movie #405 - Lethal Weapon 3

Lethal Weapon 3
1992 - Rated R - 1 hr 58 min
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Stuart Wilson, Darlene Love, Traci Wolfe

More mullet-ude and more Joe Pesci, but this movie freshens up the franchise with the addition of Rigg's love-interest Rene Russo.  She's the tough female cop who seems an unlikely match for him, but as with all similar cliches, they find themselves irresistibly drawn to each other.

And with the "dirty cop" premise to pull this plotline along, it's a solid entry into the franchise.  It also brings the duo into the 90s, although Gibson's hair hasn't gotten the memo yet.  Overall, this one offers a good crime to solve, a fun plot for viewers, and more great character development.  It's decent.

Movie #404 - Lethal Weapon 2

Lethal Weapon 2

1989 - Rated R - 1 hr 54 min
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O'Connor, Darlene Love, Traci Wolfe

By the time this movie was over, I felt like I had been punched in the face.  The whole South African government thing is kinda messy. And Joe Pesci's suuuuuuper annoying in this movie. He gets better in the later ones, but here, I can't stand listening to him talk.

I think this is probably the weakest of the set, but its still a good step in the evolution of Riggs and Murtaugh's close relationship.  In terms of developing that bond, it's a good one.  In terms of solving a compelling crime, it didn't hold my attention.

But Gibson's mullet is superb.

Movie #403 - Lethal Weapon

Lethal Weapon
1987 - Rated R - 1 hr 50 min
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Mel Gilbson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitch Ryan, Darlene Love, Traci Wolfe

I'm not as familiar with this franchise as some of the guys I know -- see: Not a Boy in the 80s -- so it was nice to sit down and watch them all.  Granted, a full day of Riggs & Murtaugh is just about all I could handle, so it was nice to move on when the fourth movie's credits started rolling.

Anyway, I almost feel like I could write ONE review for all four movies. But alas, each movie gets one, so I've got to come up with something to say for all of them. Eek.

This first movie sets up the action, so a good chunk of the beginning is exposition. We learn about Riggs's loose cannon tactics and death wish; Murtaugh's quotable philosophy about his age... "I'm too old for this shit." And of course, both character's back stories.  They're given a fairly easy plot this time around, but it's a great franchise set-up movie and another great Donner action flick that establishes a couple of well-loved heroes.

Movie #402 - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

2004 - Rated PG - 1 hr 48 min
Director: Brad Silberling
Starring: Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Timothy Spall, Catherine O'Hara, Billy Connolly, Meryl Streep, Luis Guzman, Jamie Harris, Craig Ferguson, Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Adams

Hey, little Emily Browning... before you were that girl from Sucker Punch! As the eldest Beaudelaire child, she's quick-witted and self-assured here.  Also caring to her kinda-weird younger siblings.  The family unit formed here is believable, which makes the movie really work.

With a cast of big-named stars parading by, it would otherwise be very hard to focus on the point of this movie.  Carrey's Olaf is big, bold, and pretty eccentric. Over the top, as is his usual. Billy Connolly gives a nice, heartwarming Uncle Monty and Meryl Streep's worry-wort Aunt is a joy to watch as well.  But the focus stays nicely on the kids, who pass through this Series of Unfortunate Events with gusto. Poor things.

I did like this one -- although I haven't read the books -- and I had hoped the franchise would carry on, turning more of the books into movies.  It doesn't seem like that's going to happen (seven years later), so if I want all those questions answered -- what is the deal with the spyglass? -- I guess I'll have to read the books.  Maybe they'll make good bedtime stories for my kids some day.

Movie #401 - Legends of the Fall

Legends of the Fall

1994 - Rated R - 2 hr 13 min
Director: Edward Zwick
Starring: Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Aidan Quinn, Julia Ormond, Henry Thomas, Karina Lombard, Gordon Tootoosis, Paul Desmond, Tantoo Cardinal

Lovers of Greek tragedy listen up: this is one to watch for you.  Lovers of happy endings beware: this will make you cry. A lot.

Really, Pitt's character just deals with one heartbreak after one bear fight after another heartbreak (after another bear fight). Could any more bad stuff really happen to this guy? He's like a Hollywood-ized Job, taking God's punches in the face, jaw set, eyes blazing. And surrounded by a fantastic cast, he still manages to give a stand-out performance.

This has always been one of my favorite roles of his.  It requires such deep grief and hardened emotion to carry it off and young Pitt does it well.  For me, this movie is what made him an actor not just a hot guy with a cute butt.  Although the latter is still very, very true.

Movie #400 - The Legend of Zorro

The Legend of Zorro

2005 - Rated PG - 2 hr 9 min
Director: Martin Campbell
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rufus Sewell, Adrian Alonso, Michael Emerson, Shuler Hensley, Alberto Reyes

I kinda wish I could watch The Mask of Zorro before watching this one, it's sequel. But the rules say alphabetical, so who am I to argue?

Anyway, having seen both movies several times, there was no problem watching them backwards -- or several weeks apart.  Here, Zorro and family are 10 years in and there's trouble brewing in his marriage.  Zeta-Jones divorces him, he barely knows his little boy, and the new step-dad prospect is also the bad guy.  Dun dun DUN!

So, Antonio Banderas reprises his very fun interpretation of the masked avenger and makes this one just as enjoyable as the first time around.  Sure, it's no black-and-white TV show, but the integrity, the sword-fighting, and the charm of this iconic character are well preserved and very much alive.  Lots of fun to watch :)

PS - I just hit 400 movies!!!!!!!!!!!!1