Movie #409 - The Libertine

The Libertine

2004 - Rated R - 1 hr 54 min
Director: Laurence Dunmore
Starring: Johnny Depp, Samantha Morton, John Malkovich, Rosamund Pike, Jack Davenport, Richard Coyle

This movie has Johnny Depp plus not one, but two actors from the show Coupling. Well done!

Although, I have to admit it's not Depp's best looking role.  Something about all that syphillis...  I think the chameleon in Rango is a better looking Depp part. Just sayin.

Anyway, this one's a strange, twisted biopic, where Depp plays 17th century writer John Wilmot-- a sex-crazed lush who just doesn't know when to stop pissing people off.  Samantha Morton plays the plain actress he falls in love with and coaches to stardom, while she and her pure ambition start to mess with Wilmot's mind.  He blames her for making him love life, having been much happier doing nothing before.  Strange relationship there.

Malkovich is underwhelming as King Charles II, the very king Depp pisses off with his play. It's the beginning of the end for the writer, as he succumbs to his illness and constant drunken stuppor at only 33.

A sad and tragic story, cut out of history for our like/disklike/indifference.  Personally, I enjoy the style of the film, beginning and ending with a Depp-delivered speech to the camera, and the aimlessness of the main character.  Little pieces of history from the time period always enthrall me, however, so I might be a bit biased :)

Movie #269 - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
2005 - Rated PG - 1 hr 49 min
Director: Garth Jennings
Starring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, Bill Nighy, Warwick Davis, Anna Chancellor, Alan Rickman, Helen Mirren, Stephen Fry, Thomas Lennon, John Malkovich, Richard Griffiths

A movie based on a book series filled with high-profile cameos by British actors? It's not Harry Potter but it is another excuse to enjoy Alan Rickman's unparalleled dry humor.

I've never read the Hitchhiker series by Douglas Adams, but I've heard from those that have that this movie is a good representation of his witty space tale.  Earth gets destroyed and a man in his bathrobe sets out on a journey with some weird aliens, the president of the universe, and a depressed robot.  It's fun to watch the cameos pop up and Martin Freeman is delightful, as always.  Lots of fun all around, with a really original premise, and some cool visual effects.  Now, I just need to read those books.

Movie #126 - Con Air

Con Air
Touchstone Pictures
1997 - Rated R - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Simon West
Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Steve Buschemi, Colm Meaney, Dave Chappelle, Danny Trejo

If only he'd put the bunny back in the box...  Can't anyone just follow Nicolas Cage's instructions? I mean, he's the good guy undercover as the bad guy, helping the good guys on the ground, and all so he can face his wife and daughter with a clean conscience.  Is this what happens when you accidentally kill a man? Or only if you're Nic Cage?

So once you learn to ignore his lame-o Southern accent, this movie's not horrible.  I like it because in the 90's I thought it was awesome. Now as an adult, I'm pretty 'meh' about it, but John Cusack is my boy...so I'll watch it.  After all, I gotta wait till R to watch The Rock and get some good Nic Cage up in here, so this has to do for now.

Also, John Malkovich is a creepy bad guy... but something about him doesn't work for me.  Not sure if 'one note performance' is the term I'm looking for, but you  get the idea.  He's all "I'm Cyrus the Virus and so I'll eat your children" but I'm kinda like, "Man, really? That's your tough prison nickname? And you were safe in the shower?" But whatever. I've never been to prison, what do I know?

Onward...

Movie #68 - Beowulf

Beowulf
Paramount Pictures
2007 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Robin Wright, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Crispin Glover, Angelina Jolie, Ray Winstone

I'm not gonna lie, this movie is a little bit weird. I really think it was made because they thought it would look cool. It does, it's true, but I didn't really find anything all that compelling about this movie.

For the most part, I'm too distracted by all the weird accents everyone is using... particularly Angelina Jolie. And since I'm watching all these movies alphabetically, when Grendel came on screen my first thought was, "Oh look! It's George McFly."

Anyway... I'm not that impressed with this one. It really seems like something a bunch of geeks made just because they could (and because they all had secret fantasies about Angelina Jolie in animated form.) That's all I got, folks.

Movie #33 - Art School Confidential

Art School Confidential

Sony Pictures Classics

2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 42 min

Director: Terry Zwigoff

Starring: Max Minghella, Sophia Myles, John Malkovich, Jim Broadbent, Ethan Suplee, Anjelica Huston

Here's a weird one for you. This movie takes a satirical look at just how far art students will go to please their teachers, sound really smart, and be the next big thing. John Malkovich is great as the over-the-top, triangle-painting art teacher. Max Minghella is the perfect suburbanite turned ambitious art student. And Jim Broadbent is just a crazy, depressed, has been. There's even the official art groupie girl who gets passed around by artists like an old, rusty paintbrush.

If you've ever made fun of modern art, you'll take some comfort (and get some laughs) from this flick. But don't let the lighthearted approach fool you. This movie takes some dark turns that might surprise you. I love this one - it's a fun watch.