Movie #353 - Lady Jane

Lady Jane
1986 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 22 min
Director: Trevor Nunn
Starring: Helena Bonham Carter, Cary Elwes, John Wood, Patrick Stewart

Be still my heart... but does it get any better than the love story portrayed here by Carter and Elwes? They're both so young and adorable, and the chemistry between them, from their first tiff to their final goodbye, just oozes from the TV. For real.

Based on the true story of Lady Jane Grey--the pawn in her family's plot to take the throne of England from Henry VIII's daughter Mary (later Bloody Mary for her rampant executions of the Protestants)--Lady Jane is one of my very favorite movies.  Historically, it's almost perfectly accurate, which is saying a lot. That's not often the case with these historical bio-pics.  Although the love between the heroine and her hero might be a teensy bit exaggerated, it makes for a compelling story for sure.

This movie makes me cry every time, after all these years. And it probably will for the rest of my life.  It's so tragically sad, what happens to these young kids, and none of it's their fault. It speaks to the times, the high cost of political anarchy, and the heartbreaking result of overcontrolling parents.

And all they wanted was a real shilling.

Movie #352 - Lady in the Water

Lady in the Water
2006 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 50 min
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban, Freddy Rodriguez, Mary Beth Hurt

Another twisted fairytale movie, this one from the famed director of Sixth Sense (who many say peaked with his first movie).  I think people put too much pressure on Shyamalan, honestly.  This movie is good... it's just different. There's not really a big surprise, twist ending.  It's just a unique version of a *very dark* bedtime story.

Very dark, indeed.

The plotline is creative, the premise an odd juxtaposition of the mundane and the fantastical clashing together, and the effects are pretty good too.  I think some of the dialogue is a bit lacking, and some of the random bit parts are eaten up by the world's worst actors (I cite the cop that comes to file the animal report as Exhibit A).  BUT the major billed roles are all done very well, from Bob Balaban's underwhelmed and annoyed movie critic to Giamatti's spot-on stutterer.  It's not a perfect movie, but it has so many things going for it, that I like it all the same.  And Bryce Dallas Howard is amazing, in my opinion.

I give credit to Shyamalan for his diverse subject matter in all his movies, from fairytales to ghost stories and everything in between.  At least he's out there trying to do something a little different.

Movie #351 - Labyrinth

Labyrinth
1986 - Rated PG - 1 hr 41 min
Director: Jim Henson
Starring: David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly, Toby Froud, Brian Henson, Dave Goelz

Oh, David Bowie! Oh, baby Jennifer Connelly! And oh, Ludo!

Maybe it's my childhood talking, but I absolutely love this Jim Henson classic.  Looking back on it, I'm amazed that it didn't scare the crap out of me as a child.  Somehow, in that way that only Jim Henson can, the movie tells a story that is both appealing to children and to adults, tackling real-life peril with humor and fun.  Throw in a couple of songs -- and Bowie's outrageous Goblin King pants -- and voila! Instant classic the whole family will love.

Yes, it's weird and quirky and totally fantastical in nature.  Yes, the characters are bizarre. But they're also lovable.  Even if you get mad at Connelly for cursing her brother to the Goblin King in the first place, you'll forgive her within about 5 minutes and root for her all the way to the castle.  Gotta love a good quest story, right?  It's really tough not to love this movie.

Movie #350 - L.A. Story

L.A. Story
1991 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 35 min
Director: Mick Jackson
Starring: Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Richard E. Grant, Marilu Henner, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kevin Pollak, Patrick Stewart, Iman

I love this movie, I really do.  It's got all the trademark wit of a Steve Martin-penned comedy (better than Shop Girl, that's for sure) and tells the "real" truth about late 80s / early 90s Hollywood.  From trendy twists of lemon to Marilu Henner's outrageous jewelry "points" system, Martin shows us his satirical side.  Good stuff, all around.

So the talking signboard is a bit weird, but for some reason, it's just handled as fact.  Martin's character doubts it at first, as anyone would, but once it proves itself, he starts listening.  And it's never explained, which I think does this movie a great favor.  To do so would belittle the "fairytale" of this love story.

And who doesn't want to rollerskate through an art museum?

Watch this one and laugh--both at the outdated technology (it's 1991, for crying out loud) and the witty reparte that Martin writes so well.

Movie #349 - Knowing

Knowing
2009 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 1 min
Director: Alex Proyas
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne, Lara Robinson

Last K movie... yay! Another letter down, always a good thing!

And this one's pretty interesting.  A young girl predicts all the world's major disasters for the next 50 years, including the end of the world in 2008.  The movie loses a little bit of its potential shock value since it's in the past already, but if you're invested in the story line, it works.  Lots of good suspense-building going on here and even Nic Cage is stomachable. (A small triumph as of late).

I don't want to give anything away, but the overall premise about the guys who keep following the kids is kind of odd.  And the end scene? Is it cool or a bit corny?  I like things that tell a story full circle and this does so, in a pretty grandiose kind of way.  I have mixed feelings about this one, but overall, it's a fun mystery to solve the first time around. And at least everything resolves in a satisfactory way.

Movie #348 - Knocked Up

Knocked Up
2007 - Rated R - 2 hr 9 min
Director: Judd Apatow
Starring: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Harold Ramis, Alan Tudyk, Kristen Wiig

Knocked Up was one of those movies that came out and everyone raaaaaaaaved about it. "Go see it! Go see it! It's hillarious!" I waited till it came out on DVD and saw it at home, expecting really good things.

Instead, I felt like it wasn't as funny as it could have been. And Katherine Heigl annoyed the piss out of me.  Especially in the delivery room when she's arguing that she can't get induced because her birth plan says no drugs... when the doctor says the baby's health and safety is at risk.  What?! Helllllllooooooooo?

I'm a mom and I wanted a natural delivery. But when the doctor said, "Your baby needs to come out now," I did not argue for a second. I said, "What do I sign?"

Sorry, kids. But that one irksome scene isn't the only issue I have.  Heigl and Rogen have absolutely no chemistry.  I really want to like this, cuz I love these guys and Judd Apatow.  I don't hate it... but I think it got talked up to me too much and the only way to go was down.

Movie #347 - A Knight's Tale

A Knight's Tale
2001 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 12 min
Director: Brian Helgeland
Starring: Heath Ledger, Mark Addy, Rufus Sewell, Alan Tudyk, Shannyn Sossamon, Paul Bettany, Laura Fraser, James Purefoy

Heath! I miss Heath Ledger!

Once I got over my initial grief, I remembered how mixed my feelings were about this movie. It has all the right things to make it a fun story with a great cast. But the random rock music and the "beautiful" chick who really isn't that pretty... ugh. It's got it's weak points. And I think a lot of people discredit it completely for these shortcomings.  In truth, Ledger's great and the story is a heartwarming one.  It's no worse than any other adventure/comedy/light period movie.

Except for the damn rock music.  It almost seems like they tried to hard to make it unique, when they didn't need to at all.  For what it's worth, I actually don't despise this movie. It's not a favorite, but it was fun to revist and see Heath's effortless acting at play once again.

Movie #346 - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
2005 - Rated R - 1 hr 43 min
Director: Shane Black
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan, Corbin Bernsen

Oh, how do I love Robert Downey Jr? Let me count the ways!  He tackles this quirky role with his usual flair and enthusiasm, with his staccato speech and unique body language--a weird blend of erratic movement and deliberate gestures.  You know what I'm talking about.  That way that he has about him. 

In this role, it's absolutely perfect.  This is an off-beat, dark comedy that starts out with a "botched" childhood magic trick and just gets more bizarre from there.  Following in the shoes of gay detective Val Kilmer, Downey accidentally meets up with an old friend he's had a thing for since about second grade.  His chemistry with Michelle Monaghan is surprisingly effortless.

I can't give away to much, but I will say that if you like a good dark comedy/mystery with some quirky wit and a strong ensemble cast, check this one out.

Movie #345 - The Kingdom

The Kingdom
2007 - Rated R - 1 hr 50 min
Director: Peter Berg
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Jeremy Piven, Richard Jenkins, Kyle Chandler, Danny Huston, Kelly AuCoin, Minka Kelly

This movie's disturbing and a kinda depressing, but really good.  It starts in Riyadh, where a family compound for an oil company is suicide bombed and obliterated, killy hundreds of men, women, and children.  It sets off an international incident, forcing Jamie Foxx and friends to get over there and get involved.  The Saudi government isn't happy that there are Americans there to investigate the incident, and tempers flare.  Some serious $h*t goes down and lots of bullets fly.  Good stuff.

Most surprising thing about this? Jennifer Garner isn't so bad at action flicks.  Creepiest thing about this movie? The Saudi kid's last line.  Argh.

Movie #344 - King Kong

King Kong
2005 - Rated PG-13 - 3 hr 7 min
Director: Peter Jackson
Starring: Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann, Colin Hanks, Andy Serkis, Jamie Bell

I remember when this came out, how big a deal it was. Peter Jackson does Kong... and it's bigger, better, and hairier than the original!  So there are some things about it that make it a unique experience.  Jack Black for one, who seems to play Peter Jackson in this movie.  And the giant bugs for another.  Scary, creepy giant bugs.

I'm not really sure what's up with the bugs, actually.

I also can't quite figure out why this movie needs to be more than three hours long.  It almost feels like they're trying to force an epic from this story.  While Naomi Watts does a great Fay Wray impression and creates an even stronger tie to the unlucky ape, I feel like much of this update was unecessary.

Movie #343 - King Arthur

King Arthur
2004 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Starring: Clive Owen, Ioan Gruffudd, Mads Mikkelsen, Hugh Dancy, Joel Edgerton, Ray Winstone, Keira Knightley, Stephen Dillane, Stellan Skarsgard

I think they should've put blue-faced Keira Knightly on the poster, but maybe that's just me.

In a Roman Empire-era retelling of the classic King Arthur, Clive Owen brings stately poise to a role played by many greats before him... including Sean Connery.  A strong ensemble cast makes this a solid attempt, and it's nice to see real horses instead of coconuts (Monty Python...) and a quest that's not for the grail.  The knights are on one last mission before they earn their freedom, possibly the most dangerous mission they've ever faced.  Some will live, some won't.  But everyone fights like mad... including Keira.

It's a nice reboot since it breaks away from the dressed-up versions of this story to reveal a grittier, dirtier, humbler iteration.  I like it for its originality and also for the its lead role's effortless handsomeness. What can I say? Clive Owen is pretty rad.

Movie #342 - Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Killer Klowns from Outer Space
1988 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 28 min 
Director: Stephen Chiodo
Starring: Grant Cramer, Suzanne Snyder, John Allen Nelson

Let me preface this with a clarification: this movie was a gift from someone trying to sabotage the integrity of this project. (ahem, Derek).  Still, I can appreciate a good B movie as much as the next guy, so I watched it and I'll review it and here we go.
Take that!

So Killer Klowns... well, it's about a spaceship shaped like a circus tent that lands on earth and happens to be filled with evil killer clowns.  So, thus, the title pretty much sums up the important plot points. And, just like the substitution of a K for a C in the word clowns, the acting seems to be substituted with something else itself.  It's pretty bad.  Laughably bad, but I guess that's the point.

I mean, really.  It's pretty low budget, as evidenced by the special effects and set.  And it's made to be this bad on purpose--it has to be.  So enjoy the poorly staged gore, the abominable acting, and those creepy clown masks for what they are. As horrific in construction as in concept...

Movie #341 - Kill Bill, vol 2

Kill Bill: Vol. 2
2004 - Rated R - 2 hr 16 min
Director: Quentin Tarrantino
Starring: Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah, Samuel L. Jackson

More blood and guts and gore and violent death! Hooray!  We get the rest of the epic tale in this second part, and it's got a nice twist at the end.  It throws the Bride (that's Uma) and the audience for a loop, while also complicating matters.

And as she fights her way up to the top (that's Bill, or David Carradine), we get more and more backstory and lots more action.  Plus, the Bride makes the best escape of her life.... from a coffin buried six feet underground. What?!

I get that these movies are not exactly for everyone, but I happen to love a good action flick with butt-kicking chicks and a good plotline.  This ranks right up there.

Movie #340 - Kill Bill, vol 1

Kill Bill: Vol. 1
2003 - Rated NC-17 - 1 hr 51 min
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Julie Dreyfus, Chiaki Kuriyama

Hot chicks covered in blood. Sweet ass action scenes. Gratuitous violence.  Foul effing language.

Must be a Tarantino.

Also, it must be awesome.  And this movie definitely delivers.  It's fun to watch, loaded with deceipts, double-crosses, and ooey gooey blood.  Uma Thurman kicks some serious butt in her quest for revenge against ex-love and ex-boss David Carradine.  And as the plot unfolds, and the backstory plays, we learn so much more about her reasons why.  Whoa.

I just love this movie. Enough said.