Movie #292 - I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
2007 - Rated R - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Dennis Dugan
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Allen Covert, Rachel Dratch, Richard Chamberlain

Okie dokie, folks.  The premise of this movie intrigued me. Not because I thought it would be good. Or even a revolutionary film for the gay community.  It's not that, although it has the good intentions to be.  It's really just an awkward comedy about two guys who do what they have to do for each other.  Although Adam Sandler resists as much as possible.

Still, watching these two overweight middle-aged guys embrace a same-sex "relationship" is inspiring while it's disturbing.  (Not disturbing because of the gay thing, just because it's Kevin James and Adam Sandler...) Friends got your back. And what they do - even if it is illegal - inspires those who are gay in the community to step forward and live openly.  Good things come from this trainwreck, so it's not all bad.

Movie #158 - Desperado

Desperado
1995 - Rated R - 1 hr 44 min
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Cheech Marin, Steve Buscemi, Danny Trejo

Want to watch Antonio Banderas play some killer guitar? Check!

Want to watch him kill men with guitars? Check!

Want to watch him and Salma Hayek make sweet love then play guitar? Check!

So this movie is what it is: a story of revenge, a story of a bad-ass musician who doubles as an expert gun-slinger.  And also a story of drug busting, kinda.  There's lots of sweat and dirt, many bullets, and a fantastic body count...also some fantastic bodies. Just sayin'.

It's fun, easy to follow, and has lots of action.  It's a guy movie, which is not surprising since Robert Rodriguez directed it.  And oh hey, Quentin Tarrantino's in it too!

Movie #126 - Con Air

Con Air
Touchstone Pictures
1997 - Rated R - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Simon West
Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Ving Rhames, Steve Buschemi, Colm Meaney, Dave Chappelle, Danny Trejo

If only he'd put the bunny back in the box...  Can't anyone just follow Nicolas Cage's instructions? I mean, he's the good guy undercover as the bad guy, helping the good guys on the ground, and all so he can face his wife and daughter with a clean conscience.  Is this what happens when you accidentally kill a man? Or only if you're Nic Cage?

So once you learn to ignore his lame-o Southern accent, this movie's not horrible.  I like it because in the 90's I thought it was awesome. Now as an adult, I'm pretty 'meh' about it, but John Cusack is my boy...so I'll watch it.  After all, I gotta wait till R to watch The Rock and get some good Nic Cage up in here, so this has to do for now.

Also, John Malkovich is a creepy bad guy... but something about him doesn't work for me.  Not sure if 'one note performance' is the term I'm looking for, but you  get the idea.  He's all "I'm Cyrus the Virus and so I'll eat your children" but I'm kinda like, "Man, really? That's your tough prison nickname? And you were safe in the shower?" But whatever. I've never been to prison, what do I know?

Onward...

Movie #71 - The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski
Gramercy Pictures
1998 - Rated R - 1 hr 57 min
Directors: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tara Reid

Here's a classic film with a solid cult following and a classic plotline that harkens back to Shakespeare. (Which explains the adapted script Two Gentlemen of Lebowski...) Mistaken identities, missing money, weird group of crazies, lovable hero with obvious flaws. And for these reasons, it's really fun to watch.

Something about the supreme loserness of these guys is compelling. They really, really believe they're in control of this situation at some points... well, mostly John Goodman does. Still, it's endearing, not annoying as you'd think. I also have to add that never before has bowling been so epic.

The quirky characters and great performances in this movie sell it. It really is just enjoyable to watch The Dude and company in action.

Movie #70 - Big Fish

Big Fish
Sony Pictures
2003 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 5 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Carter, Marion Cotillard, Steve Buscemi

First Batman, then Beetlejuice, the second shelf turned out to be a veritable resume of Tim Burton's work. By 2003, however, his unique style was a bit more refined and he handles this tall tale like an epic movie. Visually, this movie is gorgeous. The field of daffodils, the giant fish, all of it is well done.

Albert Finney plays that stereotypical dad who always has a story to tell, some of them widely exagerated but usually rooted in truth. To tell us the story, we have Ewan McGregor as the young dad, his life a constant string of adventures from age 18. You could probably read into this movie to find elements from tales like the Odyssey or even Forest Gump, but it is unique enough to distract you from these similar "epics." In this movie, you'll find yourself wondering which parts are true and which are fabricated, but hoping that all of it did really happen.

Finney, still verbose as ever even on his deathbed, can't seem to connect to his adult son. The son, who perceives everything his father says to be a bedtime story, grapples with the impending loss of his father, a man he feels like he never understood. Their relationship is the real focus of this movie, with each tale driving them farther and farther apart.

As with most Burton films, the emotions and issues addressed her are commonplace. The relationships between father and son; the grief of loss; the desire to feel we've made a difference in our lives. But also like other Burton films, the characters are a bit quirky, the circumstances a bit off beat, and the premise an extreme version of what you might find in reality. I think this movie is one of his best.

Movie #32 - Armageddon

Armageddon

Touchstone Pictures

1998 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 30 min

Director: Michael Bay

Starring: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Steve Buschemi, Owen Wilson, Michael Clarke Duncan

I was never really impressed with this movie. To me, it was just one of Michael Bay's early attempts to destroy the earth. This movie also doesn't know what it is. Action? Adventure? Love story? There are moments when it feels like a chick flick. And since it has a (sorta) happy ending, maybe it is a romance.

Perhaps the most annoying part of this movie is the narrow viewpoint it gives viewers. The world is going to get hit by a giant meteor and "life as we know it will end." You would think such an event would inspire a global collaboration of some kind... but since this movie is so quintessentially American, obviously the US has to do something to save everyone. Instead of watching different cultures to come together, oil rig workers and NASA scientists must learn to get along. And Liv Tyler is pure uselessness in this movie.

Don't get me started on the stupid plan they have to blow up the meteor. Drill into it and blow it apart with a nuke? Would that really even work? I demand a Myth Busters episode for this.

Anyway, I never really bought into all the hype about this movie. Now, 12 years later, I still feel like it's overrated and extremely unrealistic.