The Eighth Shelf

Hallelujuah! I finally finished the first shelving unit! Seven whole shelves down, we're officially halfway there!  I've still got a long way to go, but it feels good to move onto the next unit. Yay!

Before I move on, we have added two more titles to previous letters.  Looks like I'll be reviewing American Psycho and A Few Good Men before we take this party train onward.  But then I'm only 3 titles away from letter K. Fun times.

Here's what's in store for the eighth shelf:

1. Just Married
2. Just Like Heaven
3. Just Married
4. The Karate Kid
5. Kicking & Screaming
6. The Kid
7. Kill Bill
8. Kill Bill, vol 2
9. Killer Klowns from Outer Space
10. King Arthur
11. King Kong
12. The Kingdom
13. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
14. A Knight's Tale
15. Knocked Up
16. Knowing
17. LA Story
18. Labyrinth
19. Lady in the Water
20. Lady Jane
21. The Lake House
22. Lake Placid
23. Lars and the Real Girl
24. Last Action Hero
25. The Last Boyscout
26. The Last Castle
27. Last Man Standing
28. The Last Unicorn
29. Lawrence of Arabia
30. Layer Cake
31. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
32. Legend
33. The Legend of Zorro
34. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
35. Lethal Weapon
36. Lethal Weapon 2
37. Lethal Weapon 3
38. Lethal Weapon 4
39. Let's Go to Prison
40. The Libertine
41. The Librarian
42. The Librarian: Quest for the Spear
43. Licence to Kill
44. A Life Less Ordinary
45. Life of Brian
46. Lilo & Stitch
47. The Lion King
48. The Little Mermaid
49. Live Free or Die Hard
50. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Lots of old favorites here, but also some never-before-seen-by-me selections.  Can't wait to jump right in!

Movie #331 - Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park
1993 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 7 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, Joseph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight

Oh, I love this movie.  I'm not a big fan of horror flicks, but this one's more action/adventure with a sprinkling of dinosaur horror than a straight-up suspense/horror movie. It's also a touch sci-fi.  And it has some comedy too, kinda.

I first saw this movie in the theater when I was 12.  Loved it then, still love it now.  Considering that it was made in 1993, the dinosaurs are pretty well done.  The concept of the movie - mixing preserved dino DNA with modern DNA to bring back these prehistoric beasts - is pretty cool. And as I remember, there was a lot of buzz around that time of people wondering if it was even possible.  To the untrained layman, it seems pretty plausible.  I hear it's not really, but who cares? Makes a heck of a movie, in my opinion.

With a great mix of characters,a fantastic cast, and the perfect predators as the bad guys (hello, velociraptors!), Jurassic Park is the whole package.  Still love it.

Movie #330 - Juno

Juno
2007 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 36 min
Director: Jason Reitman
Starring: Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Allison Janney, JK Simmons, Rainn Wilson

Finally, a movie about teen pregnancy that's not a heart-breaking drama.  In fact, it's funny. Really funny. Ellen Page's quirky Juno is priceless, always quick with the pickup and always ready with an off-beat joke.  Rad.

One of my favorite things about this movie is the cast.  Overall, it's cast really well: Allison Janney has some great moments as Brenda, Juno's stepmom.  Garner and Bateman make the unlikely pair they portray believable.  JK Simmons is the coolest, calmest, most collected dad of a teen mom I've ever seen, but it works. And Michael Cera staked his claim on the charming geek-boy domain with this film, transitioning smoothly from his charming geek-boy character on Arrested Development. It's almost the same character, just on the big screen and in running shorts.  But he does it so well, it makes sense.

Diablo Cody made her screenwriting debut with this gem of a flick, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from her.  With dialogue that's clever and witty, characters that could be your own friends or neighbors, and a plot that's simple but realistic, I really enjoy this movie all around.

Movie #329 - Jumanji

Jumanji
1995 - Rated PG - 1 hr 44 min
Director: Joe Johnston
Starring: Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst, Bonnie Hunt, Jonathan Hyde, Bradley Pierce, Bebe Neuwirth, David Alan Grier, Patricia Clarkson

This movie is another classic, although I'm not really sure how that happened.  An evil boardgame traps its players and unleashes African animals and assorted disasters at every turn.  Players can even get sucked into Africa and then spit them back out, like, 20 years later.  Yikes. 

After the movie came out, they actually made this a board game.  People want to play this?!  Ok, I know, it's not real.  But if it's not as terrifying, is it as fun?

Back to the movie... which has some lame CGI animals.  But it was the 90s, so some allowances have to be made. I guess for it's time, the special effects were top-notch.  What I can say for this movie is that the premise is original and it brings you on a fun adventure.  A great movie for kids, not necessarily adults, but if you grew up watching this one, it strikes a nice sentimental note.

Movie #328 - Judgment Night

Judgment Night
1993 - Rated R - 1 hr 50 min
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr, Denis Leary, Stephen Dorff, Jeremy Piven, Peter Greene

Four friends go out for a night of fun and accidentally witness a murder.  Bad guy Denis Leary wants to kill them now.  Bad times. 

In Judgment Night, Emilio Estevez plays a new father who's been itching to get out of the house.  His friends take him out for the night and he almost gets killed. The lesson? New dads need to stay home and help new moms.  Not my opinion, folks, but apparently it's the filmmaker's.  Hey, I didn't write this movie.

Emilio Estevez is not playing hockey but winds up kicking some serious butt.  Denis Leary's evil, but isn't he usually?  There's not really much to this that's original, just some of the circumstances.  But it's your basic bad guys chasing good guys story and it's pretty predictable.  That's all I got here, folks.

Movie #327 - Johnny Mnemonic

Johnny Mnemonic
1995 - Rated R - 1 hr 43 min
Director: Robert Longo
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Dolph Lundgren, Dina Meyer, Ice-T, Takeshi Kitano, Henry Rollins

Pre-Matrix Keanu still hadn't earned his acting chops.  In this movie, his talents are just one level up from his Bill & Ted days... not quite at their best yet.  In other news, he stars opposite the chick from Starship Troopers, so that's interesting.

This movie takes place in 2021... sooooo long from now, right? And although we've advanced enough to download 80 GBs of data into people's brains (in exchange for their own memories), we're still sending faxes and dialing up with modems.  Really?  We can imagine memory chips in people's brains but digital phone cables are too much for us to think up in 1995?

Keanu's a "mnemonic courier" who moves info for people. In his head.  He's got something big in there that's too much for his brain to manage so his adventures center around getting that stuff on out.  When he discovers he's got the cure to a futuristic plague-like disease known as NAS, he might have to sacrifice some of himself to save the world. Dun dun DUN!

In its day, I'm sure this movie was pretty rad.  Now, it's kinda lame. Some cool concepts executed poorly, but only because the technology of 1995 wasn't able to look this far ahead.  As we approach 2021, I don't think we're quite where they wanted us to be in some areas, but I think we've made sustantial progress elsewhere.  Somehow, we'll have to muddle through.

Movie #326 - John Candy Collection: Going Berserk

Going Berserk
1983 - Rated R - 1 hr 24 min
Director: David Steinberg
Starring: John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Eugene Levy, Alley Mills, Pat Hingle, Dixie Carter, Richard Libertini, Ernie Hudson

I'm not really even sure why this movie was made.  I can't even really say what happens here... But those sneaky people at Columbia Pictures know how to get royalties paid on their lesser-selling titles --  just sneak 'em into a collection with two movies people have heard of.  After watching the first two movies (both written by John Hughes), this one seems like an afterthought, a lowlight from John Candy's career.  But the DVD is on the wall, so I gotta watch it.  Them's the rules.

Honestly, who made up these stupid rules anyway?

John Candy is a drummer/limo driver inexplicably engaged to a hot chick (played by Alley Mills, the mom from Wonder Years) who is also the daughter of a congressman.  His adventures with his male friend Chick and a sleazy film director (who cast Candy in his low-budget kung fu movie... as the lead) get him into trouble. He gets handcuffed to a dead Ernie Hudson, which was my favorite four-minutes of the film, and then makes enemies with the leader of an aerobics cult.  Yes, that's what I said: Aerobics Cult.

While the movie does provide for some fantastic "Let's Get Physical" workout moments, it's a terrible movie overall.  Don't waste your time. Seriously, people.

Movie #325 - John Candy Collection: The Great Outdoors

The Great Outdoors
1988 - Rated PG - 1 hr 31 min
Director: Howard Deutch
Starring: Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Stephanie Faracy, Annette Bening, Robert Prosky

This one is a classic, and most likely the reason we own this entire collection.  Dan and John play brothers-in-law living two very different lifestyles.  Dan's the rich stock broker, John's a bit more humble.  Dan and family crash John and family's vacation: let the hillarity ensue.

Whether he intends to or not, from minute one Dan Aykroyd's ruining John Candy's great outdoor getaway.  Log cabins, lakes, local steakhouses... you name the arena, Dan Aykroyd's causing trouble.  This movie has some great moments between the two comedy legends, which is basically the whole reason to watch it.  Meanwhile, Annette Bening seems to play the young version of her character in American Beauty... kinda fun to go back and watch.

One more movie in the John Candy Collection and we're back to the regular J movies.

Movie #324 - John Candy Collection: Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck
1989 - Rated PG - 1 hr 40 min
Director: John Hughes
Starring: John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Louisa Kelly, Gaby Hoffmann, Amy Madigan, Laurie Metcalf, Jay Underwood

A John Hughes movie not centered on teenagers was a rarity, but here it is.  Granted, he can't help himself completely: the teenage daughter Tia (Jean Louisa Kelly) is a particularly tough nut to crack for old Uncle Buck.  She's as bitchy as Jennifer Grey in Ferris Bueller with the snobbery of Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club. Hooray for 15-year-old girls in John Hughes' world... they're all a piece of work. Honestly, what did he have against them?

Anyway, Uncle Buck is the goofy, bachelor uncle who just can't seem to do anything right.  His total fear of commitment has him wife-less, childless, job-less, and apparently life-less. When his brother needs someone to watch the kids, Buck's a last resort... but they're pretty desperate.  Since this is a feel-good comedy, though, you know the uncle and the kids are both going to grow from the experience of being stuck together while Mom and Dad are gone.  It's predictable, less slap-stick funny than the DVD cover would suggest, and overall very John Hughes-y.  Still, not bad.

And yes, while this movie does indeed begin with a U, it's up in the J's because of how the DVD is packaged.  Billed as the John Candy Collection, it's three movies on two DVDs and in one box, so we've filed it under J for ease.  The other movies, Going Berserk and The Great Outdoors, are up next...

Movie #323 - Jersey Girl

Jersey Girl
2004 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 42 min
Director: Kevin Smith
Starring: Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Raquel Castro, Jennifer Lopez, Jason Biggs, George Carlin, Stephen Root, Mike Starr, Will Smith

Despite a quote that says so on the back of the DVD, I don't think this is "Kevin Smith's greatest film yet."  While it's nice that someone thinks so, that claim belongs to Dogma.  But this film -- as a classic troubled family man rom-com type deal -- has a much wider appeal than just jaded Catholics, so I can see how some might laud this as his best.

Maybe.

The truth is, his characters have weird names that sound silly.  The relationships are a bit flat.  And Liv Tyler's just not as sexy as she thinks she is.  Although many applaud J Lo's early death in the film, cuz hey J Lo's gone, this film had the potential to become another Gigli and fast.  George Carlin does what he can to save the movie and Will Smith's cameo as himself is pretty funny. 

But no, it's not Smith's greatest film.  It's a mediocre attempt at the "main stream."  Even Zac and Miri Make a Porno was more entertaining.

Movie #322 - Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
2001 - Rated R - 1 hr 44 min
Director: Kevin Smith
Starring: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter, Jeff Anderson, Brian O'Halloran, Will Ferrell, Jason Lee, Judd Nelson, George Carlin, Carrie Fisher, Seann William Scott, Matt Damon, Jon Stewart, Tracy Morgan, Gus Van Sant, Chris Rock, Jamie Kennedy, Mark Hamill and tons of other cameos....

There are too many cameos in this crazy movie for me to tag and list here... It's a veritable Who's Who of past Kevin Smith films.  A reunion of sorts.  Written as a promise to pal Jason Mewes (after the actor went to rehab and got clean), Smith's reunion movie pulls out all the stops.  They even dig up Morris Day & the Time for the grand finale.

So Jay and Silent Bob are on a cross-country adventure, hoping to claim the royalties they're owed by Brodie for using their comic book likenesses in a new movie. Along the way, as in any good road trip movie, they meet a lot of wacky characters. Some try to help them, others frame them for robbery.  Many old favorites pop up again from Mooby's to the Quik Stop.  And Ben Affleck and Matt Damon appear both as characters in the film and as themselves... so that's fun.

This isn't a movie to watch if you've never seen a Kevin Smith film before.  If you have, it's like watching a long string of inside jokes being told by familiar friends.  If you're a fan, chances are you've already seen this anyway... so what am I telling you for?

Movie #321 - The Jacket

The Jacket
2005 - Rated R - 1 hr 43 min
Director: John Maybury
Starring: Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Brad Renfro, Daniel Craig

Weird movie... but kinda cool too.

Brody is a Gulf War vet accused of killing a cop. He gets a not guilty ruling and is judged insane, then begins treatments under Kristofferson, who's possibly nuts himself.  His risky new therapy involves drugging patients and locking them in a morgue drawer. Yup.

While he's in the drawer, Brody travels 15 years into the future and reconnects with an old acquaintance who tries to help him figure out what's going on.  But don't worry, they never quite figure it out exactly.  While the time travel could all be in his head, there are clues that it may not be.  What happens here is left open to interpretation, so let the debate begin. 

It's a strange movie with a unique framework and a concept that's never quite explained.  As I've mentioned on previous posts, when it's done well, I like that.  In The Jacket, I think it's done pretty well indeed.

Movie #320 - Jackass Number Two

Jackass Number Two
2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 32 min
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Jason Acuna, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey

This isn't a review either.  It's just me shamefully admitting that I think these idiots are mildly entertaining.  This second installment brings us a toy car up the butt, Steve-O's butt chug, and other butt antics.  The Big Red Rocket, some Tony Hawk skateboarding action, and the return of party boy.  Weird stuff in this one, but no weirder than any other collection of their stunts I guess.

Now, watching two movies in a row.... more grating than entertaining.  Why we own these, I can't remember.  To remind us how intelligent we are? Maybe.  Schadenfreude? Probably.

But just to be clear, I told Mike that if he buys Jackass 3, we're not friends anymore.

Movie #319 - Jackass: The Movie

Jackass: The Movie
2002 - Rated R - 1 hr 27 min
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Ryan Dunn, Jason Acuna, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey

Do I really have to "review" this one?

First of all, I gotta admit that I laughed a couple times.  These guys are insane and, while I don't support their activities in any way, I think it's pretty hillarious.  These are the guys Idiocracy is worried about, it's true.

And what they do to Phil and April Margera (Bam's parents) repeatedly throughout both movies is just ridiculous. The alligator? Why? That poor woman.

Movie #318 - It's a Wonderful Life

It's a Wonderful Life
1946 - Rated ? - 2 hr 10 min
Director: Frank Capra
Starring: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore

It's always fun when classics pop up.  I have to admit this is the first time I've ever watched this movie outside the Christmas season, so that was a little weird.  But it's still a good one.

I realized though, how rarely I catch the very beginning. And I have to admit that the weird stars talking to each other was a bit odd.  I don't really remember that too much.  Odd choice, really.  Wouldn't it have been better to show us a scene in heaven with three actors? I don't know. I feel like I'm harping on an unimportant detail here.  Maybe I am.

Anyway, the message behind this movie is pretty clear.  George Bailey was a good man, whose good deeds never seem to go unpunished.  The poor guy is like Job in the Bible, except his faith is placed in others and the universe in general.  But no, nothing works out for the guy. Save your brother, go deaf in one ear.  Meet a pretty girl, your dad dies.  Help your brother out, get trapped in the family company. Damn.

I'd be "discouraged" too, you know? And when all looks lost, someone finally steps in to help. All those prayers do him some good and the whole town comes together to make him a rich man, show him some support, and give an angel his wings.  Warms the heart, you know. 

It's cinematography and story-telling style is from another age of Hollywood, but the story and the characters ring true even today.  There should be more people like George Bailey in the world, that's for sure.

Movie #317 - Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2
2010 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 4 min
Director: Jon Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L Jackson, Clark Gregg, Paul Bettany, Leslie Bibb, Gary Shandling, Jon Favreau

Sequels are always tough... and I usually approach them with great trepidation.  But when I heard about Iron Man 2, I was pretty psyched.  Thankfully, the movie doesn't disappoint.

While it lacks the fun creation sequences of the first movie, the technology doesn't stop advancing and the Iron Man suit has a few updates, like unfolding from a case that travels pretty light.  There are new bad guys, including scary Mickey Rourke, and new good guys, including Scarlett Johansson.  Tony Stark's troubles with his heart machine thingey (yes, that's the technical term) are more complicated, the ties to the Avengers are strengthened just a tiny bit, and the relationship with Pepper Potts grows as well. 

It's not as good as the original, but I think it continues the plot and everything that surrounds it in believable ways.  Everything takes a step forward, from the technology to the characters, so it's a great movie with lots of treats for fans.

Movie #316 - Iron Man

Iron Man
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min
Director: Jon Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Faran Tahir, Leslie Bibb, Paul Bettany, Jon Favreau, Peter Billingsley

Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man. No joke.  I think that's his big secret.  No drug or alcohol problems. No rehab. He was secretly off fighting crime in his Iron Man suit. 

Which would make this movie a kind of biography...

Anyway, I don't know a lot about the comic or the character, it's true.  But this is one of the best Marvel comics-to-big-screen franchises there is.  I attribute that to a killer cast, fabulous action sequences, and general kick-assery. 

Also, it's fun to see Jeff Bridges be the bad guy.  And as unlikely a pair as they seem, Paltrow and Downey have fantastic on-screen chemistry.  Still, the best scenes in the entire movie are between Downey and his team of robots as they test the suit again and again.  Priceless.

Movie #315 - Iron Eagle

Iron Eagle
1986 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 57 min
Director: Sidney J Furie
Starring: Louis Gossett Jr, Jason Gedrick, David Suchet

I don't know why we own this movie.  I'll chalk it up to Mike's nostalgia, since he claims it is "awesome."  Thanks, 1986 Hollywood, for this gem of a film....

It's kinda like Top Gun for kids and teens. So no beach volleyball scene or, you know, any of the good parts.  No Tom, no Val, and no dynamite soundtrack.  And look at that... it came out in the same year.

Instead, this movie's pretty boring and about 80% of it takes place in airplanes.  Jason Gedrick's hoping to get into the Air Force Academy but keeps getting rejected.  His father, a veteran Air Force pilot, gets kidnapped by Arabs (from what country, who knows? Not important, I guess), tried, and sentenced to death.  It's all a big mistake, Gedrick knows, but the government won't say his dad.  One of those "needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few" scenarios.  So he and Louis Gossett Jr. are gonna go save him. For reals.  Thank God this kid's been practicing his flying.

**SPOILER ALERT** Obviously, they save him and everyone lives happily ever after. Gossett doesn't die, like you think he does.  Gedrick gets into the Air Force Academy for his awesome rescue skills.  Hooray.

And I was bored, the entire time. Ugh.

Movie #314 - Interview with the Vampire

Interview with the Vampire
1994 - Rated R - 2 hr 3 min
Director: Neil Jordan
Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Kirsten Dunst, Christian Slater, Thandie Newton

How doI love this movie? Let me count the ways...
     1. little Kirsten Dunst.... amazing
     2. vampires with feelings
     3. Hello, Brad Pitt.
     4. best ending possible
     5. a multi-period piece with some nice set and costume work - I can appreciate that

Honestly, this is my favorite vamp movie.  The new ones are all lame. This is the best.  And, to make it even better, it was made before vampires were trendy. So there, Stephenie Meyer.

But really.  This is a whole cast of emo, homo-erotic vampires played by really pretty celebrities who are all vamped out to look not so pretty anymore. Except Kirsten Dunst who is the world's most gorgeous little vampire.  And again, let's revisit how AH-MAZ-ING she is in this movie. Possibly her best role to date.  How unfortunate for her to peak so young, but how fortunate for us to be able to watch this performance over and over again, if we so choose.

It's not the best movie ever, I can admit that, but I think it's a great ensemble, a really creative premise (remember, this came out before "Buffy," ok?) and a unique way to tell the story. Plus, how deliciously evil is Tom Cruise? And I'm not even a big Cruise fan, but I love this performance.

Movie #313 - Inside Man

Inside Man
2006 - Rated R - 2 hr 9 min
Director: Spike Lee
Starring: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Christopher Plummer, Willem Dafoe

A bank robbery where the money stays in the vault? Something's up.  The premise behind this movie is heavy on the intrigue.  Denzel vs Clive is an interesting battle to watch, with Jodie Foster interfering at all the wrong (or right?) moments.

This one's nothing extraordinary, but it's always nice to a see a movie with a predictable premise (i.e. a bank robbery with hostages) take a different route.  That said, I don't think anyone here gives a standout performance nor is this a must-see.  It's entertaining and intriguing, but a lot of the middle just drags.  It could be great but to me it seems a bit unbalanced.  Overall though, a good one to watch for something a little different.

Movie #312 - Inglourious Basterds

Inglourious Basterds
2009 - Rated R - 2 hr 33 min
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger, Eli Roth, Melanie Laurent, Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, Gedeon Burkhard, Mike Myers

You have to appreciate Tarantino's style to like this movie, I'm not gonna lie.  It's dirty and gritty and bloody and gorey.  It's got that certain flair he's developed so well over the years.  And it's not necessarily historically accurate, either...

If you can get past those things, then you'll love it.  Brad Pitt veers so far from his usual course, it's a delight to watch.  The Basterds are a strangely lovable band of misfit soldiers that share a common love of dead Nazis.  The Jew Hunter (Waltz) is dead-on scary, playing his little mind games as he roots out hidden Jews.  And the big finale is a well-orchestrated special effects masterpiece with the highest body count I know of. 

Even more skillful, however, are the quieter scenes of the movie.  The suspense-filled conversations with their double-meanings and hidden messages.  The opening scene is one of the most disturbing I've ever seen, but so quietly riveting that I'm glued to the screen. Inglourious Basterds and it's quirky mispelled title live up to the legacy of Tarantino and won't disappoint fans. I don't want to gush, but I really love everything about this movie.

Movie #311 - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 2 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Cate Blanchett, Shia LeBeouf, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Jim Broadbent

Nearly twenty years after Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Lucas and friends thought it would be a good idea to relive the glory days with a brand new adventure.  Indiana's middle-aged now, still getting into trouble, and dealing with getting old and losing friends and his dad. 

I have to admit - especially after seeing the Rocky Balboa, a similar attempt - I had my reservations.  My initial reaction? "This is gonna suck."  But my love of Indiana drew me to the theater anyway and I tried to give it a chance.  Despite a short nap somewhere in the middle, I saw it.... and hated it.
Lots of the jokes felt rehashed and recycled.  Everyone had wrinkles. (Not a problem, except when you're not using to seeing these characters like that.) And the whole Shia LeBeouf thing could've been better than it was.... I mean, what kind of name is Mutt? Is that a weak play on "We named the dog Indiana" and now your son has a dog name too?  That's stupid, George Lucas. Stupid.

Mike insisted on buying this DVD to complete our quartet and so I had to watch it again.  Them's the rules.  So for the first time since that horrific day in the theater, I watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This time, I did not fall asleep. And I really did give it a fair shot.

So here's my new impression.  **SPOILER ALERT** The first 3/4 of the movie aren't any worse than Temple of Doom.  There's a clear adventure in the works, and assorted curve balls get Indiana on his way.  The whole Karen Allen and her son subplot is worked in well, so it's not too jarring when you find out about that.  Actually, you kind of guess it. 

But then you get to the end.  ALIENS? ALIENS, GEORGE? WHAT THE HELL?! The ending ruins everything.  I might even take the aliens if it weren't for the whole "They're not from outer space, they're from and interdimension, the space between spaces" bull crap.  I call shenanigans.  And then the "space ship" or whatever the heck it is, lifts up and creates a giant rock tornado - that SOMEHOW does NOT kill anyone standing two feet away from it - and goes up and away into not space, but "inter space." WHAT THE HELL, GEORGE LUCAS?  All of a sudden, Indiana Jones is a sci-fi.  I hate this so much.

I really wanted the movie to be better the second time. And I managed to stomach the lame rehashed jokes and wrinkles this time. I even laugh when Indiana teases Marion for getting captured.... again (see my Raiders review).  But I can't accept the aliens. I just can't.

Movie #310 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
1989 - Rated PG - 2 hr 7 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, John Rhys-Davies, River Phoenix

Raise your hand if this is your favorite Indiana Jones movie.  That's what I thought.

All around, this has the most engaging plot, the best cast (sorry, Karen Allen) and the coolest "prize."  Especially considering the awesome, ancient knight that's guarding it.  Yes, the Nazis are back, but this time Indiana's dad is involved. And his dad is Sean Connery, so it's pretty rad.

Maybe it's because I came into the series late, once all three were already made that I like this best.  I'm sure some of those who watched each come out on its own have differing opinions. I know others who prefer Raiders. Still, Crusade has lots of great lines, some great comedic moments, and the iconic "No ticket" line (which I already mentioned in my review of Air Force One.)

If you like adventure and haven't seen these movies, first of all, what's wrong with you?  Second of all, put them in your Netflix queue already.  Enjoy.

Movie #309 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
1984 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 58 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Jonathan Ke Quan, Amrish Puri, Dan Aykroyd

Every solid trilogy has a weak point, and I guess Temple of Doom is Indiana's lame movie.  This one differs from the first and third in that it's not a planned adventure.  In fact, the planned adventure takes place off screen before the movie even gets started. The impromptu "how will Indy save himself and friends" adventure is random and kinda nuts.  His usual crew isn't involved and instead his stuck with a high-maintenance singer and the techy Asian kid from The Goonies.

While I like a good "Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones!" as much as the next guy, this movie just doesn't hold up to the other installments in this trilogy.  On its own, it's not bad. But by comparison, it's not great.

Still, it's a nice change of pace away from religious icons and Nazis, I guess.

Movie #308 - Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost Ark
1981 - Rated PG - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, John Rhys-Davies, Alfred Molina

Just what I needed to break things up: an Indiana Jones marathon!

It's nice to watch movies again as an adult that you were familiar with in your childhood.  It's like watching them with a new set of eyes - more jokes make sense, more actors are familiar, and obviously, the plot lines make more sense.  This movie used to be "that movie where Han Solo has a whip" and as I've grown up, I've developed a new appreciation for this classic.

There's not much to say about this, just that it's a classic for a reason.  It's the perfect action/adventure movie, with a touch of romance for our main character.  Lots of witty lines, iconic moments, etc.  The only thing that bothers me is how easily Karen Allen gets herself in trouble.  You could play a drinking game: every time she gets trapped somewhere, drink.  Every time she gets kidnapped, drink. Every time she yells "Indy!", drink.  Those are the only rules you need to get hammered.

In any case, I love this one.  It's the first of a great trilogy and a good, strong introduction to our favorite adventuring professor!

Movie #307 - Independence Day

Independence Day
1996 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 25 min
Director: Roland Emmerich
Starring: Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Judd Hirsch, Randy Quaid, Vivica A Fox, Harvey Fierstein, Adam Baldwin, Brent Spiner, James Duval, Lisa Jakub

I saw this in the movie theater way back when and loved it.  It's cheesy and very Roland Emmerich-esque, but it's just so much fun to watch that you can't help but enjoy it.  The cast is great - president Pullman, Smith as a marine, Goldblum as a failed scientist, Fierstein and his effortless dramatics.  And Brent Spiner as the weird, crazy-haired scientist in the alien lab - it's just too much.  I love it.

We all know how much Emmerich likes to destroy the world and, although some of his later attempts weren't so bad, this has got to be the best one.  The aliens are creepy in their calculated silence, the people featured at the center of the action are diverse and interesting, and there's just enough personal tragedy and sacrifice to make it seem "real."

Alright, so it's not very "real."  But it's a nice balance of victory and loss, a perfect Hollywood blend of comedy and tragedy.  And the effects aren't so bad either.

Movie #306 - The Incredibles

The Incredibles
2004 - Rated PG - 1 hr 55 min
Director: Brad Bird
Starring: Craig T Nelson, Samuel L Jackson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Wallace Shawn

This one's got a lovable cast, creative premise, and the genius of Brad Bird. What's not to love?  This has always been a favorite of mine - retired superheroes and their children come out of hiding to defeat the forces of evil.  Of course, there's much more to it that makes this family of superheroes likable and, heck, even realistic.  The love between Bob and Helen, the everyday struggles these superkids face in extraordinary ways, and even the troublesome infant... it's normal stuff made not normal with the addition of super powers.

The villain is kinda lame: a childhood fan of Mr. Incredible who gets shunned by the superhero.  He's older now, plus he's evil. He's been killing other superheroes and has finally tracked down his old "nemesis" and hopes to eliminate him as well.  Is Mr. Incredible too out of shape to triumph over evil?

As with most Disney/Pixar creations, this movie is fun for kids but also appeals to adults, almost effortlessly.  And Edna Mode is just hysterical no matter how old you are.

Movie #305 - The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 52 min
Director: Louis Letterier
Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson, Ty Burrell, Christina Cabot, Lou Ferrigno

First thing's first. This Hulk movie isn't as bad as the Eric Bana one.  I mean, Stan Lee shows up with a cameo in this one, so it's the officially endorsed version.  But Edward Norton, of all people, steps into Ferrigno's shoes?  Riiiiiiight.

But it's not so bad, because they frame the character around Norton's slighter build.  He's a nerdy scientist who falls victim to his own work.  Tortured, troubled, and struggling to either cure himself or learn to control it.  I mean, he can't even make out with Liv Tyler, so it's gotta be tough on him.

In other news, the dad from Modern Family (Ty Burrell) plays Tyler's other beau.  Hey, Phil!

So it's not great but it could be worse.  That's the best I got.