Movie #152 - The Day After Tomorrow

The Day After Tomorrow
Twentieth Century Fox
2004 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 4 min
Director: Roland Emmerich
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Ian Holm

In this first attempt to destroy the world, Roland Emmerich freezes the northeast in a flash blizzard the likes of which has not been seen since wooly mammoths walked the earth.  Dennis Quaid can't save us all, but he'll save his son from the New York Public Library.  If he doesn't freeze first.

Doom, destruction, and general mayhem.  Could this be our future? Emmerich posits through this cinematographical adventure.  If it is, I want Quaid headed in my direction.

Movie #151 - The DaVinci Code

The DaVinci Code
Columbia Pictures
2006 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 29 min
Director: Ron Howard
Starring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Jean Reno, Ian McKellan, Paul Bettany, Alfred Molina

Finally the prequel movie (or sequel book) to Angels & Demons has come up on the way.  I know it's almost cliche these days, but I'm a fan of Robert Langdon and his adventures, as well as his token female adventure partner.  Actually, I like Sophie the most of the two of them.

So here we are on the hunt for DaVinci's clues across Europe, uncovering deep and dark Christian secrets, and blowing the lid of the life of Christ.  Interesting to think how much of this is true - which many speculated when the book first hit shelves, but that's long since died down.  Now, most people just enjoy it for the adventure and the mystery of it all. 

Some argue that the movie's too long. Maybe it is. But with book to movie adaptations, there's no pleasing everyone.  Overall, I think this captures the tone of the book, which is the part we all like, which makes this a good adaptation in my opinion.

Movie #150 - Date Night

Date Night
Twentieth Century Fox
2010 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 28 min
Director: Shawn Levy
Starring: Steve Carrell, Tina Fey, Mark Wahlberg, Taraji P. Henson, Wiliiam Fichtner, Mark Ruffalo, Kristen Wiig, James Franco, Mila Kunis

Finally... something with a budget!

I love this movie.  Mostly, I love the things in this movie.  Steve Carrell. Check. Tina Fey. Check. Mark Wahlberg's abs. Check!  There's lots of cameos too and tons of awkward situations that make you just uncomfortable enough to laugh.

This was one of the movies we saw when our daughter was still in the hospital, so since it made me laugh then, it will always hold a special place in my heart. And on the movie wall.

I won't ruin it, just suffice it to say that no one does ordinary-suburban-couple-thrown-into-extreme-and-dire-circumstances quite like these two.  And there are moments when I see flashes of my own future while watching this.  Hey, if that means our life is going to be this funny, so be it.

Movie #149 - Darkman III: Die Darkman Die

Darkman III: Die Darkman Die
Universal Pictures
1996 - Rated R - 1 hr 26 min
Director: Bradford May
Starring: Jeff Fahey, Arnold Vosloo, Darlanne Fluegel

There are no words to explain how much I did not like this movie. Nay, set of movies.  If they weren't packaged together - and if I hadn't written the rules of this project myself - I would have found away out of this.

The Mummy returns in this one (ha!) for more bad acting, weak plotlines, and sub-par (even for the 90s) special effects.

Snore.

Movie #148 - Darkman II: The Return of Durant

Darkman II: The Return of Durant
Universal Pictures
1995 - Rated R - 1 hr 33 min
Director: Bradford May
Starring: Larry Drake, Arnold Vosloo, Kim Delaney

This one went straight to video, and no one is surprised.  I didn't know it was possible, but the quality is even poorer.  Liam Neeson (wisely) did not return for installments two and three of this gripping (oh so gripping) trilogy.

One movie was bad enough. But a trilogy?

And no, not even Sam Raimi wanted to work on this one. 

The only redeeming thing about it is Arnold Vosloo whose acting is so bad, it's good.  Before he was The Mummy, he was Darkman.  Impressive resume, Arnold.

Movie #147 - Darkman

Darkman
Universal Pictures
1990 - Rated R - 1 hr 36 min
Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Liam Neeson, Frances McDormand, Colin Friels

I don't know why we own this movie.  I don't know how I sat through the whole thing.  That fast-forward button was calling my name.

But I suffered through it, perhaps lead only by my hope that it would improve.  It did not. 

The plot - about a scientist who gets maimed but knows how to create fake polymer skin that only lasts 99 minutes - is lame.  The effects are also lame, in a very Sam Raimi Evil Dead kinda way.  Which worked for Evil Dead but not anywhere else.  Liam Neeson's cool, but this is not his best work.

That is all...

Movie #146 - The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight
Warner Bros Pictures
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 32 min
Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Cillian Murphy

If you haven't seen this movie yet.... oh man. Do you live in a cave? How are you reading this post? Honestly, I'm concerned about you. This is a MUST see. MUST. So get out of your cave and go find a rental store... oh wait a minute. You have the internet. Get a Netflix account and download the movie already, for crying out loud.  Watch it in your cave, I don't care. 

There. Much better now.  Now you understand. This movie, from beginning to end and all the way through the middle, is awesome.  Sure, Christian Bale's Batman voice is a little weird. And yeah, the Two-Face plot at the end feels like an afterthought.  But, my God, is Heath Ledger brilliant or what?  Some have said that we only love this movie so much because it was his *last* film (technically, that's not true... ahem, Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, but we're not on I yet.) But if he were still alive (oh....now I'm sad), I'd still think this movie and his performance were frickin' fabulous.

If you're not an action or comic-book-based movie fan, that's fine. You don't have to be to appreciate the artistry of this movie. The tone is perfect, the plotline engaging, and the performances top-notch.  I'm gushing, I know. But I give credit where it's due and - after watching all those 90's Batman movies last month - I'm really glad they decided to give this franchise a re-boot.  And while Heath Ledger will be sorely missed for a long, long time, I'm glad we got this parting gift from him.

Movie #145 - The Dark Crystal

The Dark Crystal
Universal Pictures
1982 - Rated PG - 1 hr 33 min
Director: Jim Henson, Frank Oz
Starring: Jim Henson, Kathryn Mullen, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz

Man, I love this movie.  Despite its insane creepiness, it was always a childhood favorite. A sci-fi/fantasy/romance/adventure with puppets - what's not to love about it? 

Watching it now as an adult, though, it's not really as magical and mystical as I'd worked it up to be inside my head.  The narration's a bit corny.  The story line's a bit weak. The effects are, well, they'r appropriate for 1982.  Skekses are still creepy though. No matter how old I get, those things are creepy as hell. And Lord Chamberlain is the worst of them all... ugh.

So, even though it's not everything I remembered it being, it's still a huge piece of my childhood, of cinematic history, and of pop culture.  If you've never seen this movie, watch it with these facts in mind.  It might not be as flashy and exciting as a modern action flick, but it was a big deal at its time.  And it truly speaks to Jim Henson's legacy.

Movie #144 - Dark City

Dark City
New Line Cinema
1998 - Not Rated - 1 hr 40 min
Director: Alex Proyas
Starring: Rufus Sewell, Kiefer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly, William Hurt

What's up, creepy movie? I see you have a pretty cool cast (even if Kiefer has a super annoying over-breathy speech thing as Dr. Schreber). I also see that you use of the word "dark" is not only symbolic, but also an accurate description of the lighting used in each shot.  At times, you look like a black and white film.

Mike loves this movie and I think it's a pretty cool concept.  Heavy, but cool.  Messed up memories that are planted in your head in a nightmare world, plus telekinetic aliens who want our souls.  That's twisted. Who comes up with these things? Oh, this director guy wrote it, so I bet he's pretty messed up.

Watch this one for something thought provoking, just don't get up to get the popcorn without pausing it. You'll be really confused if you miss even a moment.

Movie #143 - Daredevil

Daredevil
20th Century Fox
2003 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 43 min
Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell,
Michael Clarke Duncan, Jon Favreau, Ellen Pompeo, Joe Pantoliano

Do you think Ben and Jen watch this movie like its a home video? 

"Look, kids! This is how your mother and I met!"

"Dad, you're a superhero?"
"Only on TV. But look, it's our first kiss, Jen!"

"Ben, you know that was like, Take 15 or 20, right?"

"No one needs to know that, honey."

See, I've got the whole awkward scene in my head now.  In any event, this movie's one of those comic-book-turned-film messes. It's not all bad - it does have Stan Lee in it, can you spot him? - and the fighting scenes kick ass.  But really, is my life enriched by this movie? Not particularly.  I'm glad it was useful for Hollywood match-making (and to let Jennifer Garner take Alias to the big screen, more or less), but I could live without it. You know?

Movie #142 - The Cutting Edge

The Cutting Edge
Interscope
1992 - Rated PG - 1 hr 41 min
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Starring: D.B. Sweeney, Moira Kelly, Roy Dotrice, Terry O'Quinn

Ooh, it's fun to revisit the early 90s! And it's really easy to do watching this ice skating love story. And isn't DB Sweeney just adorable?  Plus, it has John Locke from Lost before the show was even a twinkle in JJ Abrams eye! Cool!

It's a classic love story, a modern-day Taming of the Shrew of sorts, that charts the journey of a mismatched pair of pairs skaters on their way to the1988 Olympic Games in Calgary. Will they overcome their differences to win the gold? How will their feelings toward one another change?

Yeah, you can see it coming a mile away, but it's still fun to go on the journey with them.  Just don't forget your toe pick...

Movie #141 - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Warner Bros Pictures
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 46 min
Director: David Fincher
Starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton, Taraji P. Henson

This movie took a lot of crap from the critics and the general populace, who said it was like Forrest Gump with a gimmick.  I get that. The whole "Here's some guy's entire life trajectory for your viewing pleasure, with a few chance encounters and tall tales thrown in for kicks."  Yeah, there are similar elements.

But when I first saw this movie, before I heard any of that, I really enjoyed it.  Sure, it's excessively long, but the concept (loosely based on an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story, the irony there is hillarious) is a fun one to base a love story around.  And despite what others say, I think Brad Pitt does just fine as Benjamin Button.  Cate Blanchett is, as always, a work of art and wholly untouchable by critical derision. They're not a pair I'd have imagined together, but onscreen you forget that she played an elf queen and he played that gas station attendant in Thelma & Louise.  You believe they love each other and that makes this movie work.

Okay, the whole baby as an old man and old man reverse ages to become a baby (and yes, that baby dying scene gets me everytime) is bizarre. If you spend too much time thinking about it, you'll just get pissed off.  Accept it for a fancy, Hollywood-ized sci-fi concept blended with an impossible romance and you'll get it.  That's all it is, aside from being really, really long...

Movie #140 - Cruel Intentions

Cruel Intentions
Columbia TriStar
1999 - Rated R - 1 hr 37 min
Director: Roger Kumble
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Joshua Jackson, Swoosie Kurtz, Christine Baranski, Tara Reid

Ah, twisted rich kids and their sex games.  Based on the French novel, Les Liaisons Dangereuses, but with teenagers, this movie could have easily turned into a parody.  Thanks to its cast, however, the weird and complicated "bet" between two step-siblings actually works. It seems a bit excessive, but what else is there to do when you're rich, lazy, and oh-so-sexy?

Reese Witherspoon is adorable, even more so than her adult self just because of how petite and cute she is.  Actually, I think this is where she got together with Ryan Phillippe.  And a pre-American Pie, pre-plastic surgery nightmare Tara Reid is also pretty cute.

So this movie is weird, but it works. And, damn it, it's actually pretty sexy.

Movie #139 - The Crow

The Crow
Miramax
1994 - Rated R - 1 hr 42 min
Director: Alex Proyas
Starring: Brandon Lee, Michael Wincott, Rochelle Davis, Ernie Hudson

Don't watch this movie if you plan to be in a good mood when it's over. Not that I don't like it, I do. It's just really, really depressing.  Guy and his fiancee get murdered, guy comes back from the grave one year later to seek revenge on their murderers, guy is constantly haunted by memories of his fiancee.  It's just so sad!

Awesome, cuz the Crow kicks butt, but very sad.

And then you realize that Brandon Lee died during the filming of this movie (blank was replaced with bullet, no one admits to knowing how this happened), and you're even more sad. Cuz he's good and he could've been great, but he never made it that far, because some idiot killed him by accident.

See? There aren't many happy points to this movie. Except that he does get revenge and, therefore, can now rest in peace.  So that's good...

Movie #138 - Crazy Heart

Crazy Heart
Fox Searchlight Pictures
2009 - Rated R - 1 hr 52 min
Director: Scott Cooper
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell

This was my first viewing of Crazy Heart which we received as a gift, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  It was basically in the same tone as those musician biopics that started coming out with Ray and Walk the Line, but this one isn't as bleak and dark.  It could have been, if it wanted to, but something about Jeff Bridges's performance lets you see the 'realness' without getting bogged down by it.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is my favorite part of this movie - and I feel like she won a Golden Globe or something last year for this role.  If that's true, then it's well deserved. If that's not true, she was robbed.  Her character, a writer and single mom who gets tangled up in Bad Blake's (Bridges) insanity, is realistic, guarded, and protective of her only son. When she finally draws a line in the sand, you know she's not kidding.

As "life" movies go, this is a good one.  It's not a favorite, but I definitely enjoyed it.

Movie #137 - Cradle 2 the Grave

Cradle 2 the Grave
Warner Bros Pictures
2003 - Rated R - 1 hr 41 min
Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring: Jet Li, DMX, Tom Arnold, Gabrielle Union

All right, this one's not exactly my kind of movie. It isn't bad, it's just not for me.  So watching it again was not an enjoyable experience. I was bored, I'll admit it.

Jet Li is awesome, of course, and DMX, the featured raptor (that's rapper/actor), can actually act enough to pull this off. Of course the best part about this movie is the eight-year-old girl who kicks some serious ass to try to escape from her captors (that's not a clever hybrid, they are actually captors). But this movie doesn't really do much for me.

The gratuitous car chases and action scenes make this all guy from beginning to end. Snore.

Movie #136 - Couples Retreat

Couples Retreat
Universal Pictures
2009 - Rated R - 1 hr 53 min
Director: Peter Billingsley
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Malin Akerman, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, Kristin Davis

When this movie came out and everyone was like "Ooh! What a great cast! This is going to be hysterical!" I was onboard.  We saw it in the theater and enjoyed it, then were puzzled to hear that not everyone thought it was as funny as they hoped.  Well sure that's going to happen... This isn't a slapstick comedy, it's not Wedding Crashers, and it's not just shallow comedy either.

This movie is funny because of how well it hits the nail on the head.  The construct is a bit weak - four couples who all fit a stereotype we see in our world today - but the message is clear: "Make it work if you want it to work." Maybe the humor makes people uncomfortable, or maybe it's not the Favrea/Vaughn people expect.  Still, I happen to think this movie is pretty darn hillarious.

As for the vacation spot, with the crazy couples therapists and the fish-feeding exercises that draw sharks, there's your Favreau/Vaughn humor.  It's background noise, despite the movie's poster and catch phrase that would tell you its otherwise. It isn't the main point, it's the backdrop where these comedy writers make their valid point about human relationships.

For these reasons, and the fact that kids peeing in display toilets is hysterical, I really liked this one a lot.

Movie #135 - The Count of Monte Cristo

The Count of Monte Cristo
Touchstone Pictures
2002 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 11 min
Director: Kevin Reynolds
Starring: Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Richard Harris, James Frain, Luis Guzman

Okay, so right off the bat, the catch phrase for this movie has me rolling my eyes... "Prepare for adventure, Count on revenge."  Really? Someone went there?

So once I get over that, I don't mind this movie so much.  Does it stick to the original masterpiece? Not exactly.  Is it entertaining? Sure. That's mostly thanks to Jim Caviezel and Guy Pearce, who are awesome! And oh, original Dumbledore (Richard Harris) is in jail with Edmond which is kinda cool.  I also discovered that Henry Cavill from The Tudors plays Albert, so that's also fun to see.

Mostly, you just watch this movie for the light intrigue and 'complex' revenge plot that's not really all that clever.  Did you know that if everyone assumes your dead, no one recognizes you when you come back? I feel like they could have done more there, so it's not like the whole 'Clark Kent wears glasses so he can't be Superman' thing... but whatever.  Luiz Guzman also doesn't really fit into this movie... he's not bad, and I give him credit for trying, but every so often he says a line and it pulls me out of the 'atmosphere' of this movie. He seems a little out of place, that's all.

In general, this isn't so bad but I'm frustrated about the ending.  In the book, things don't work out so well for our hero, who learns that seeking revenge has its consequences. In the movie, he gets his revenge and then gets to stay happy... What is this movie trying to say?