Movie #67 - Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice
Warner Bros. Pictures
1988 - Rated PG - 1 hr 32 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Catherine O'Hara, Winona Ryder

Here's another example of a movie that's so classic it's on TV all the time. I feel like I just watched this movie a couple of weeks ago, probably on TV, and just because, "Hey, Beetlejuice is on..."

Before Tim Burton directed Michael Keaton in Batman and Batman Returns, he paired up with him on this weird one. I did not know this until, well, about five minutes ago when I went to IMDB for the year. Something in his performance as Beetlejuice said to Tim Burton, "Hey, man. I'd make a sexy Batman." I'm not sure what, but there must've been something there, however tiny.

Anyway, who doesn't love this movie? It's a lighthearted look at death, the afterlife, haunted mansions, and old-school goth culture as demonstrated by an adolescent, pre-shoplifting Winona Ryder. And every time I watch this movie I remember Catherine O'Hara is in it. I have to admit that I also sing "Day-Oh" right along with them.

Here.... you can sing along too!

Movie #55 - Batman Returns

Batman Returns

Warner Bros. Pictures

1992 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfiefer, Christopher Walken

Here's another great cast given some crappy writing. I really, really wish that Batman hadn't returned, but here we are again.

This time, Christopher Walken is a big corporate jerk who wants to build a power plant. To get his way, he teams up with the Penguin (more on him later) to try to unseat the Mayor and get approval to build. Obviously, Batman is too energy conscious to allow such a superfluous construction to be built. Obviously.

And oh yeah, Michelle Pfiefer works for Walken, figures out he's a scumbag, and so he pushes her out a window. But since she's a crazy, dowdy cat lady, all the cats in the neighborhood team up to bring her back to life. Thank God. Now she has nine lives and suddenly knows how to make a pleather cat suit. In the words of 90's male viewers who needed the eye candy, Thank God.

I think her character is solely intended to empower women. She fights back against jerky men. Those big jerks. They're just... such jerks. And if only someone had actual claws to scratch them across their jerky faces, women will suddenly earn equal wages. Glass ceiling be damned! Catwoman is here.

But I digress.

The Penguin is even more of a joke. He was born deformed so his parents dropped him in a sewer (obviously, cuz that's what you do) where he was raised by penguins. Apparently, DC Comics and Tim Burton wanted to explore the alternative Tarzan's life. Just so you know, being raised by penguins makes you evil.

Mike argues that comic books always have "weird" plot lines and characters in them, and this is
supposed to be like that. Fine. I'm ok with that. But penguin-raised bad guys have no place anywhere, not even a comic book. Sorry, kids.

Movie #54 - Batman

Batman
Warner Bros. Pictures
1989 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Jack Nicholson, Billy Dee Williams

I don't even know where to start with this movie. Suffice it to say, my opinions on Batman caused an argument with my husband. According to him, Michael Keaton is the best Batman there ever was.

Adam West is pissed off about this.

Well, whatever. Mike can like this movie all he wants. I think it's kind of a big mess. Tim Burton had not yet hit his stride, that much is evident. He's a great director, the cast isn't bad. I mean, Jack Nicholson single-handedly carries this movie from beginning to end. He's worth watching, but that's where my praise ends.

If it's been a while since you've seen this (as it had been for me), then let me refresh your memory. The Joker's diabolical scheme is to poison cosmetics. Poison. Cosmetics. He kills 13 people. That's it. Thirteen people. The flu virus kills more people in a week.

Seriously, folks.

But the thing about this movie that irritated me more than the plot was the cheesy sound effects. I'm not sure if they were going for the lame-o (yet classic) sound effects of the early Batman tv show or if they just had a sucky foley artist. But halfway through the movie, I stopped counting how many cartoon-ish bullet richocet sounds I heard. It was just pissing me off. Cartoon "Pows" and "Kablams" would have been better, I think.