Movie #323 - Jersey Girl

Jersey Girl
2004 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 42 min
Director: Kevin Smith
Starring: Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Raquel Castro, Jennifer Lopez, Jason Biggs, George Carlin, Stephen Root, Mike Starr, Will Smith

Despite a quote that says so on the back of the DVD, I don't think this is "Kevin Smith's greatest film yet."  While it's nice that someone thinks so, that claim belongs to Dogma.  But this film -- as a classic troubled family man rom-com type deal -- has a much wider appeal than just jaded Catholics, so I can see how some might laud this as his best.

Maybe.

The truth is, his characters have weird names that sound silly.  The relationships are a bit flat.  And Liv Tyler's just not as sexy as she thinks she is.  Although many applaud J Lo's early death in the film, cuz hey J Lo's gone, this film had the potential to become another Gigli and fast.  George Carlin does what he can to save the movie and Will Smith's cameo as himself is pretty funny. 

But no, it's not Smith's greatest film.  It's a mediocre attempt at the "main stream."  Even Zac and Miri Make a Porno was more entertaining.

Movie #305 - The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk
2008 - Rated PG-13 - 1 hr 52 min
Director: Louis Letterier
Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson, Ty Burrell, Christina Cabot, Lou Ferrigno

First thing's first. This Hulk movie isn't as bad as the Eric Bana one.  I mean, Stan Lee shows up with a cameo in this one, so it's the officially endorsed version.  But Edward Norton, of all people, steps into Ferrigno's shoes?  Riiiiiiight.

But it's not so bad, because they frame the character around Norton's slighter build.  He's a nerdy scientist who falls victim to his own work.  Tortured, troubled, and struggling to either cure himself or learn to control it.  I mean, he can't even make out with Liv Tyler, so it's gotta be tough on him.

In other news, the dad from Modern Family (Ty Burrell) plays Tyler's other beau.  Hey, Phil!

So it's not great but it could be worse.  That's the best I got.

Movie #32 - Armageddon

Armageddon

Touchstone Pictures

1998 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 30 min

Director: Michael Bay

Starring: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Steve Buschemi, Owen Wilson, Michael Clarke Duncan

I was never really impressed with this movie. To me, it was just one of Michael Bay's early attempts to destroy the earth. This movie also doesn't know what it is. Action? Adventure? Love story? There are moments when it feels like a chick flick. And since it has a (sorta) happy ending, maybe it is a romance.

Perhaps the most annoying part of this movie is the narrow viewpoint it gives viewers. The world is going to get hit by a giant meteor and "life as we know it will end." You would think such an event would inspire a global collaboration of some kind... but since this movie is so quintessentially American, obviously the US has to do something to save everyone. Instead of watching different cultures to come together, oil rig workers and NASA scientists must learn to get along. And Liv Tyler is pure uselessness in this movie.

Don't get me started on the stupid plan they have to blow up the meteor. Drill into it and blow it apart with a nuke? Would that really even work? I demand a Myth Busters episode for this.

Anyway, I never really bought into all the hype about this movie. Now, 12 years later, I still feel like it's overrated and extremely unrealistic.