Movie #60 - Battle Royale

Battle Royale
Starmax
2000 - Not Rated - 1 hr 54 min
Director: Kinji Fukasaku
Starring: Tatsuya Fujiwara, Aki Maeda, Taro Yamamoto

Ok... wow. This movie... wow.

Let me first say thank you to my friend Derek for getting this movie for us. Let me also say that, after watching it, I promptly instructed Mike that he needed to watch it. Hell, I'll watch it again right now if he wants to.

Before you go and watch this, I have to worn you it's kinda gorey. I happen to think that's awesome, but you might not. Figured I'd worn you now.

So the basic plot is that the Japanese government (in an alternate timeline) passes the Battle Royale Act to thin the younger population. Unemployment is high, the economy is down, and adults are blaming delinquent youth for a lot of their problems. In the BR Act, a class of students is selected to spend three days on a deserted island, killing each other off until only one remains. In the movie, a group of 42 delinquent ninth graders must fight the Battle Royale to survive and "win."

You can tell that the film makers took great delight in filming a bunch of 13-year-olds wielding weapons and spraying blood everywhere... especially since they're all still wearing their school uniforms. And those scenes are fun, but what I enjoyed most was the Lord of the Flies like look at the human response to dire situations like this. Some of the students just start hunting, others find anyway they can not to participate even if it means taking their own lives, and some students try to band together. But when only one person can survive, even the tightest friends will have to turn on each other eventually.

So I really loved this movie and I want everyone to watch it now. (You know, as long as blood doesn't make you want to vomit.) It's one of those "what if" movies that are fun to watch but you hope will never actually happen...

Movie #59 - Batteries Not Included

Batteries Not Included
Universal Pictures1987 - Rated PG - 1 hr 46 min
Director: Matthew Robbins
Starring: Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy, Frank McRae, Dennis Boutsikaris, Elizabeth Pena

Awww! Cute, cuddly spaceship robot things... Science fiction and family entertainment are perfectly united in this heartwarming 80s movie. It's definitely dated, but you forget about that quickly. The real story is told among the remaining tennants of this soon-to-be-demolished apartment building. A group of strangers are brought together, confront their own personal problems, and get a little help from an unlikely source.

The robot-spaceships (what are they even called?) are never explained and I'm not sure if I like that or not. The mystery of this movie adds a certain lightheartedness to the whole plot, but it was driving me nuts not knowing. I guess the point is that sometimes help comes to us and we don't need to know why or how. This is pretty deep stuff right here.

Anyway, I love this one. It was great to watch it again after all these years and find that it still holds up. Classic.

Movie #58 - Batman Begins

Batman Begins
Warner Bros. Pictures

2005 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 20 min
Director: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Ken Watanabe


I remember when this movie came out thinking, "Another Batman? Why?" But after watching those last four, I can see what the franchise needed a new start. In Batman Begins, the slate gets wiped clean and Christopher Nolan takes a stab at how Batman became the Batman. And some clever bits and pieces are added to deepen his character.

This movie takes the comic-ness out of the story and makes it more accessible. Batman isn't just one-half vigilante and one-half playboy. Instead, we get to see his relationship with his father, how deeply scarring it was to lose his parents, how his childhood friend can affect him, and how his training made him what he is. Plus, it's fun to watch Christian Bale train with ninjas, just sayin'.

Christian Bale may not be the best Batman, but he's great at the gritty, wounded hero thing. He could do without the Batman voice, as I'm sure most people would agree, but it's a small criticism in an otherwise entertaining movie.

I really enjoyed this movie when I first saw it in the theater and I still like it now. My only regret is that the sequel The Dark Knight is filed under D... or else I'd be happy to move onto it right away.

Movie #57 - Batman & Robin

Batman & Robin
Warner Bros. Pictures
1997 - Rated PG - 2 hr 5 min
Director: Joel Schumacher
Starring: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone

This movie is like a Who's Who in Nineties Film? project. That dude from Circle of Friends, that chick from Clueless, and oh yeah, the hottest doctor (move over, McDreamy) on TV: that guy from ER. And Arnold. He's cool too.

It's the same director, and yet the only person in this movie from the last is Chris O'Donnell... who plays the kid-brother kind of Robin that you want to punch in the face. Sorry, he annoys me. Whine, whine, whine. Go play on your trapeze, you big baby.

This time, Alfred is sick, his niece (Silverstone) is in town visiting, and a whole bunch of funky stuff is going down at a nearby lab - owned, of course, by Wayne Enterprises. In fact, between Dr. Freeze's cryogenics accident and Pamela what's-her-name's plant problem, Batman & Robin feels like an anti-chemistry advertisement at times. "Don't play with cryogenics at home, kids..."

Again, we have randomly intersecting bad guy plot lines, making things irritatingly complicated at times. At least there's legit girl power in this movie (although it's not much... I mean, really. Batgirl? She couldn't come up with an independent name?), and another dowdy chick turns hot thanks to a freak accident (i.e. Catwoman and Poison Ivy could be BFF's and share weird stories over a pedicure some time.)

But the best part about this movie is what it signifies... the END of the Batman movies before Christopher Nolan rebooted the franchise. Thank God.

Movie #56 - Batman Forever

Batman Forever
Warner Bros. Pictures
1995 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 1 min
Director: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell
New Batman, new director, new look... kinda. These films are still a dark interpretation of the comic series, without being 100% comic. Some of the modern hero movies / graphic novel movies seem straight off the page, a really interesting and aesthetic approach. The Batman movies seem to get lost in the pages... maybe that's my problem with these earlier movies.

Anyway, Val Kilmer is not as gritty a Batman as Michael Keaton (or Christian Bale for that matter) but he plays the suave Bruce Wayne pretty well. Is it intentional that the Harvey Dent that was Lando Calrissian in the first movie is now Tommy Lee Jones? Or are we okay with it because there's a new Batman? Whatever.

Anyway, Jim Carrey is just... weird. Not sure why he's in this movie. Jones is pretty gross looking and definitely has split personality issues, but that's to be expected. I hear being drenched in acid can make you go nuts, so I'm not going to judge him for that. And if he wants to have a girlfriend for each side of his face, more power too him.

The one thing that really does bother me about this movie is Nicole Kidman's character Chase Meridian. She's supposed to be this big, smart psychologist who wants to study Batman's psyche and diagnose his inner pain. She makes all these comments about how he probably has a troubled past. Then she talks to Bruce Wayne about his troubled past. Somehow, she can't connect the dots. I wanted to shake her a couple of times.

Otherwise, this movie wasn't terrible...

Movie #55 - Batman Returns

Batman Returns

Warner Bros. Pictures

1992 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfiefer, Christopher Walken

Here's another great cast given some crappy writing. I really, really wish that Batman hadn't returned, but here we are again.

This time, Christopher Walken is a big corporate jerk who wants to build a power plant. To get his way, he teams up with the Penguin (more on him later) to try to unseat the Mayor and get approval to build. Obviously, Batman is too energy conscious to allow such a superfluous construction to be built. Obviously.

And oh yeah, Michelle Pfiefer works for Walken, figures out he's a scumbag, and so he pushes her out a window. But since she's a crazy, dowdy cat lady, all the cats in the neighborhood team up to bring her back to life. Thank God. Now she has nine lives and suddenly knows how to make a pleather cat suit. In the words of 90's male viewers who needed the eye candy, Thank God.

I think her character is solely intended to empower women. She fights back against jerky men. Those big jerks. They're just... such jerks. And if only someone had actual claws to scratch them across their jerky faces, women will suddenly earn equal wages. Glass ceiling be damned! Catwoman is here.

But I digress.

The Penguin is even more of a joke. He was born deformed so his parents dropped him in a sewer (obviously, cuz that's what you do) where he was raised by penguins. Apparently, DC Comics and Tim Burton wanted to explore the alternative Tarzan's life. Just so you know, being raised by penguins makes you evil.

Mike argues that comic books always have "weird" plot lines and characters in them, and this is
supposed to be like that. Fine. I'm ok with that. But penguin-raised bad guys have no place anywhere, not even a comic book. Sorry, kids.

Movie #54 - Batman

Batman
Warner Bros. Pictures
1989 - Rated PG-13 - 2 hr 6 min
Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Jack Nicholson, Billy Dee Williams

I don't even know where to start with this movie. Suffice it to say, my opinions on Batman caused an argument with my husband. According to him, Michael Keaton is the best Batman there ever was.

Adam West is pissed off about this.

Well, whatever. Mike can like this movie all he wants. I think it's kind of a big mess. Tim Burton had not yet hit his stride, that much is evident. He's a great director, the cast isn't bad. I mean, Jack Nicholson single-handedly carries this movie from beginning to end. He's worth watching, but that's where my praise ends.

If it's been a while since you've seen this (as it had been for me), then let me refresh your memory. The Joker's diabolical scheme is to poison cosmetics. Poison. Cosmetics. He kills 13 people. That's it. Thirteen people. The flu virus kills more people in a week.

Seriously, folks.

But the thing about this movie that irritated me more than the plot was the cheesy sound effects. I'm not sure if they were going for the lame-o (yet classic) sound effects of the early Batman tv show or if they just had a sucky foley artist. But halfway through the movie, I stopped counting how many cartoon-ish bullet richocet sounds I heard. It was just pissing me off. Cartoon "Pows" and "Kablams" would have been better, I think.