Movie #248 - A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 50 min
Director: Dito Montiel
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Dianne Wiest, Shia LeBeouf, Julia Garro, Channing Tatum, Rosario Dawson, Chazz Palminteri, Eric Roberts, Scott Michael Campbell, Melonie Diaz

I don't even know where to begin.  This movie disturbed me, and I'm not sure if that was the response they're looking for.  Robert Downey Jr plays the author, Dito Montiel, and Shia LeBeouf plays the young Dito in 1986.  Based on a true story, Dito deals with plenty of personal tragedy throughout his troubled past.  Lost loves, the deaths of friends, a distant father... all the cliches.

As a story goes, there's not much resolution here. You watch this movie and come away with very little.  It makes me wonder why the story is told, you know?  As the movie goes, the acting seems forced at times. And the F word, which doesn't usually bother me, appears at least three times in every sentence.  It's hard to feel compassion for any character in this contrived drama... I guess I didn't get it.

Movie #115 - Clerks II

Clerks II
Miramax
2006 - Rated R - 1 hr 37 min
Director: Kevin Smith
Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith

And they're back!  This movie revisits our angst-ridden heroes after the convenience store burns down and they start working at a fastfood restaurant, managed by Rosario Dawson... possibly the only female in the universe who is as deranged as they are. 

This time, Dante is supposed to be leaving... with his inexplicably hot fiancee. Of course, Randall has a problem with that and so, it turns out, does Dante. He just doesn't know it yet, in his classic wishy-washy, I'm-so-confused-by-my-life-I'm-going-to-whine-about-it way.  Brian O'Halloran does this so well, it makes me wonder if he's like this in real life.  Anyway, you want to punch Dante less often in this movie, but you still want to punch him.

Obviously, Jay and Silent Bob (out of rehab) are the best part about this movie.  If you need a reason to watch it, I cite Jay's dance scene as enough.

All in all, it's fun to revisit 'old friends' and see where they've ended up.  Kevin Smith does a great job bringing these characters' story to a somewhat satisfying conclusion.  If you're a fan of the original, this will make you laugh for sure. But don't expect it to replace Clerks in any way, shape or form.